


Getting Worse Before it Gets Better

by Mandancie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 02:25:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2252367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandancie/pseuds/Mandancie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary and Warnings inside. Please take warning/triggers seriously! Nothing Graphic!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PTSD

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I know it sucks, but they are so much fun to play with.**

**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story! Awesome as ever!**

**_Warnings:_ This story will contain PTSD, torture, and non-con (rape). Nothing Graphic! Mostly implied. If you don't like, please don't read.**

**_Summary_ : This here is an AU continuation from my previous stories "Don't Follow" and "What To Do." Originally, I didn't plan them to be a continuing story but this story came up and it works to have all the stories connected. You don't have to read the other ones to get what going on here. Thing will be explained through out the story. But if you like I would love for you to take a look at them and read them.**

**Getting Worse Before They Get Better**

**Chapter One: PTSD**

It was a day like any other. Sam's sitting in his History class. It is more like an auditorium than a regular classroom. He is really enjoying himself. He knows that Dean would make fun of him being a geek, but he really wouldn't care. He loves to learn. He got a full ride to Stanford. Sam doesn't think he's ever seen Dean so proud of him. It was hard to leave though. Yeah, Dean said it was fine, and truth be told Sam doesn't think he would have really been able to do this if Dean wasn't on board with college. But the simple fact that Sam was in Palo Alto and Dean wasn't with him was still difficult for Sam. He didn't like waking up alone in his room. But it wasn't all bad. Sometimes, Dean would come and stay for awhile and that made things a little more bearable.

Sam's been at Stanford for a year now, and he's made a few friends since being here. Some Dean's met and some he hasn't. The one Dean hasn't met yet was a girl name Jessica. Sam really liked her. Dean knew of Jessica because when he would come Sam would talk about her, but Dean hasn't had the pleasure of meeting her. Each time Dean would come by there would be some excuse as to why he couldn't meet her. Now he has talk to her on the phone, so Dean knows that she does exists. It makes Dean smile when Sam talks about her.

Now, History class is being dismissed and it is Sam's last class of the day. Talk of a paper that has to be done by the end of the week. Taking a trip to the library was in Sam's cards before going back to the dorms. Sam goes and gets himself some dinner at the Student Centre before heading out to the library. He looks in his wallet and sees that funds are getting low. He gets himself something small so that he could let his money last. He hated asking Dean for money, but Dean was adamant that he didn't get a job while he was in school. That anytime Sam would need monetary funds Dean would provide it for him. If Dean stopped by, he would not leave without giving Sam some money. Sometimes all the money he would have on him minus gas money for the Impala. Sam knew he would do that and hated it so much. Dean sacrificing everything for him just made Sam feel even more guilty. And on the times that Dean wasn't in the area he would wire the money to Sam.

Sam was sitting at a table by himself when his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and smiled a little.

"Hey Dean," Sam said

" _College boy, how's it going?"_

"Alright. What you doing?"

" _Having fun."_

Sam couldn't help but laugh at that. Whenever Dean said that it meant that he was in the middle of a hunt.

"What are you going after this time?" Sam smiled.

" _Just the usual. Miss your research? Maybe when you go on break you can come with one time."_

"Yeah. Hey Dean..."

" _I'll be in the area in a couple of days. I think I'm going to go to the motel and crash."_

Sam really loved his brother so much. He knew it was hard for him to ask for money, but if he didn't then Dean would yell at him about it was his job to make sure Sam had everything that he needed for school. So to save Sam the embarrassment of asking Dean would just offer by saying when he was coming or if he wasn't coming he would tell him to go pick up the wire at the Student Centre.

"Where are you now?" Sam asked.

" _Reno. What are you doing now?_

"Eating, then I have a paper I have to start on, so I'm going to the library."

" _Well, go get you some food, I'll be there in a couple of days."_

"Dean, I said I'm eating."

" _Yeah, I heard that lie. Go get you something to eat."_

How does he do this? Sam thought looking at the bag of chips he had in front of him.

" _Hey geek boy, don't worry about it. Go eat and then take your nerd ass to the library. I'll talk to you later."_

"Bye, Dean."

Sam hung up the phone and walked back to the counter and got himself a sandwich to go with his chips. After he finished his dinner, Sam heads to the library. He finds a secluded spot in the corner, puts his things down and starts in on his paper. Sam gets so much into the paper that he loses track of time. He's sitting at the table writing away when the librarian walks over and taps the table. She doesn't hit it hard but because Sam wasn't pay attention it scares him.

"Oh sweetie," the librarian said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just came to let you know that we're closing."

Sam sits back for a minute to try to calm himself down. He tries to calm his breathing. He looks at this phone and debates calling. After sitting there for a minute, Sam begins to pack his things up. The librarian, feeling awful for startling Sam, tells him that he can take the books that he have with him and brings them back tomorrow.

Sam, still shaking, walks out the library and begins the trek to his dorm. He looks at his watch and sees that he was out for way too long. He didn't want to be walking by himself at night. It's not that he couldn't take care of himself but there was no big brother around to have his back. If Dean was there, he would have sat in the library with him just as long as he was and the walk home wouldn't be this terrifying. Sam's heart is racing. He knew he needed to calm down. He knew he was being ridiculous. He just couldn't stop the nervous feeling in his stomach. He starts feeling phantom ropes on his wrists. Sam stops walking and closes his eyes rubbing his wrists. His side starts hurting. He knows it's in his head but he can't help it. Then he starts feeling other things and he gets nauseous. Sam starts to walk again. Get to his dorm room, that's what he tells himself. Call him when you get in the dorm room. One foot in front of the other. Sam reaches his dorm, fumbles with the key, gets in and lock the door. He keeps his back to the door even as he reaches for his phone and begins dialling.

"Hey, college boy," Dean answered his phone after looking at the caller ID.

"Hey D-Dean," Sam said trying to calm down. "When will you be back this way?"

"I thought we just had this conversation. Why? What's wrong?

"N-nothing," Sam said a little to fast. "It's nothing, I just wanted to know when you would be here."

Dean turned the car around. "I should be that way in a couple of days." Or hours depending on how fast Baby can get to Stanford, thought Dean, but knew he wouldn't tell Sam that.

Even though Sam's gone to college, with Dean's blessings, it didn't mean that big brother radar would be any less. Dean always could tell when something was wrong. And even though Sam was trying his best to conceal something, he knew that Dean would notice. Dean also knew that Sam was too proud to just ask Dean to come by the school. But the tension in Sam's voice let Dean know something's not right. So Dean decided to just come out and ask him.

"Is everything alright, baby brother?" Dean knew putting that at the end, Sam would know that no matter what he told him, Dean would not be upset or mad or judge him.

"It's...n-nothing...I'm f-fine...I just...wanted to know..." Sam tried to sound nonchalant. It wasn't working.

"Sammy." Dean wheedled.

"De, it's fine. I should go. I'll see you in a couple of days."

Sam hung up the phone.

Dean was glad that he had already checked out of the motel that he was staying at earlier that day. Something told him it was time to travel. He just didn't think it would be to California. He knew at the pace he was going, he should be there in about two and a half hours. He tries not to be too far from California if he could help it.

Sam walked into the bedroom and laid down on the bed completely exhausted. Sleep came to him fast. He didn't even realize that he fallen asleep until he was awoken to someone banging on the door. Sam looked over to the clock and saw that he actually been sleep for about three hours. Then there was that banging at the door. Sam got up and crept towards the door. Who on earth would be knocking at this hour? Slowly Sam's hand reached for the door lock, when it banged again. Sam jumped.

"Sammy," said from the other side of the door. "Open up. It's me."

"Dean," with much shock and relief in his voice as he opened the door.

Sam opened to a smiling big brother. Dean didn't even get in the door when he his arms was full of his baby brother.

"Hey, kiddo," Dean hugging his brother.

"Dean, I thought you weren't coming for a couple of days!"

"Thought I'd surprise you. You going to let me go and invite me in. Or are we just going to stand here like a couple of girls?"

Sam let Dean go and moved out of the way so that Dean could come in.

Dean walked towards the living room, making note of where everything was in the room. The last thing he wanted was to come in and see that Sam wasn't taking precautions like he was suppose to. Dean nodded to himself. Satisfied that everything looked okay. He knew he had to work on the real reason he was here early.

"Sammy," Dean said sitting on the couch putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"Dean," Sam standing in the doorway. Dean could see he was tense about something.

"Alright, baby brother." Dean said. He pointed to the other end of the couch to tell Sam to sit down. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. N-nothing. Everything is f-fine."

Dean looked at his brother, still standing in the doorway. Dean could read Sam like a book. Right now, Dean knew that Sam was scared about something. The stuttering didn't help matters either. Sam only ever did that when he was really scared.

"Sammy," Dean coaxed. "Sit down."

"Dean, it's fine. Why are you here?"

Dean took his feet off the coffee table and squarely looked at his brother.

"Do you really want me to answer that question, or do you want to come sit down and talk?"

"Dean..."

"Sam," Dean stood up and walked over towards Sam. "Whatever it is, you know you can tell me."

Dean could see that Sam was shaking. Dean reached out to grab Sam's shoulder and Sam jumped. Sam had pure fear in his eyes when he jumped from Dean. The last thing he wanted to do was to do that to Dean. He didn't want Dean to think that he was scared of him. He knew he was overreacting. Nothing happened. It wasn't like before. He knew he was just being paranoid.

"Dean, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean..."

"Sam, stop. Just tell me what happened," Dean demanded, cutting Sam off.

Sam walked into the living room and sat down on the couch where Dean originally wanted him to sit. Dean on the other hand remained standing.

"I know I'm probably imagining this," Sam put his head in his hands. "I don't even know what started it. I was fine all this time."

Dean sat down on the coffee table in front of Sam. He gripped Sam's wrists and moved his hands away from his face.

"Look at me, Sammy. What brought this out?"

"I-I have a paper due in a c-couple of day. I was at the library. I lost track of time. The librarian startled me. When I got out of the library, there was no one outside. Just like that night. And you weren't there. Dammit! It's been four years, why is this coming back now?" Sam sounded so exhausted. He put his head back down. Dean leaned forward and gripped the back of his neck and pulled Sam closer towards him.

"Sammy, listen to me," Dean gently squeezing Sam's neck. "It's over. It was four years ago. You're not in that alley. You're not in that garage. And more importantly, I'm right here Sammy. And I'll always be here."

"I can still feel the ropes, Dean." Sam looks at Dean with tears in his eyes.

"You'll get pass this." Dean lowers Sam's head on his shoulder.

It was silent in the room. They just sat there. Sam with his head on Dean's shoulder. And Dean would sit there like that because that's what his baby brother needed right now. Then Sam broke the quiet in the room.

"D'n," Sam sounded like a little boy.

Dean smirked. "Yeah, Sammy."

"How long are you staying?"

"As long as you need me. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thanks De."

"Why don't you go back and lay down. I am going to get my things out of the car."

Sam slowly lifted his head and looked at Dean. Then he got up and walked back to his room and laid down on the bed. Dean watched Sam as he stumbled deeper into the dorm, heading towards his bedroom. Dean got up and left the room and headed for the car. When he got back, he saw that Sam hadn't moved from that spot on the bed. Dean put his things on the floor and sat back down on the couch. Dean remembers that night and deep down still blames himself for what happened. And every time Sam has one of his stress moments it's like a punch in the gut to Dean because he couldn't protect his brother.

**TBC**

**A/N: I hope you liked my first chapter. Please be kind and review! :)**

**Many Hugs and Kisses to you all**

**Mandancie :)**

**Please like my Mandancie page on Facebook.**


	2. Big Brother's Here

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I still don't own Supernatural.**

**To an awesome beta; Thank you so much** **_AlElizabeth_ ** **! :)**

**Chapter Two: Big Brother's Here**

Sam woke up the next morning, looked at the clock on his nightstand and nearly panicked, almost falling out of the bed.

"Oh CRAP!" he scrambles out of his bedroom. Sam grabs his backpack and walks past the couch and drops it from the back not noticing the sleeping form on it. The bag lands on an unforgiving part.

"AAHH!"

Dean wakes up to a bag being dropped on him. Sam gets startled turning towards the noise.

"Dean," Sam says with a little relief in his voice. "How long have you been here?"

Dean put his head down. He hated this part when Sam would have his panic attacks. He would repress everything that happened and would seem to forget what happened before he fell asleep. So everything that happened the night before, Sam doesn't or doesn't want to remember. Dean usually lets it ride and pretends with Sam. It's better than the alternative.

"I thought you weren't coming for a few days," Sam said, pulling Dean out of his thoughts. "Did you pick the lock again?"

"Hey," Dean said trying to sound nonchalant. "You were asleep and wouldn't let me in. I wasn't going to sleep in the car and wait for you to wake up and there was a perfectly comfortable couch here waiting on me." Dean put Sam's backpack on the table next to Sam. Dean knew he was lying to Sam, but right now as long as Sam was doing okay he would keep up the facade until...

"There are motels around here. You didn't have to break in." Sam was getting all his papers together that were spread out on the table taking Dean out of his thoughts.

"Didn't have the funds. You need them."

Sam sighed in frustration. He so hated Dean doing that. He wanted to tell Dean that he wasn't worth it, but all that was going to do was start up an argument that he just didn't have the strength to go through.

"Will you be here when I get back?" Sam asked putting the papers in the backpack that Dean had set on the table.

"Of course," Dean said looking at Sam like he had two heads. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Sam turned around and headed towards the door. He put his hand on the door knob and just stood there. Frozen to the spot. Dean looked at his brother. Dean slowly walked over towards Sam. Sam was standing at the door trembling. Dean knew this was the next part of Sam's panics; fear and clingy.

"Sammy," Dean says.

Sam looks over at Dean, and Dean's heart breaks. Sam looks petrified. Dean knows he doesn't really want to set foot outside the room. He remembers how long after it took for Sam to walk out of the hotel room:

_"Come on, Sammy," Dean said putting on his coat._

_Sam was sitting on the far bed with his coat already on, but didn't move. Sam looked up at Dean. He could see the fear in Sam's eyes._

_"Come on, baby brother," Dean soothes. He can see the tears starting to form in Sam's eyes. Dean walks over to Sam and kneels down on the floor in front of him._

_"Alright, baby brother," Dean says. "Talk to me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's bothering you."_

_"I'm scared." Sam said it so quiet that Dean almost missed it. Dean reached up and gripped Sam's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Not to hurt just to comfort. Slowly Sam leaned in to the hold._

_"Listen to me Sammy, no one is going to hurt you. Not again. Not on my watch. I will always be there."_

_"Will you be with me the whole time?"_

_"Every minute." Dean could feel that Sam was starting to relax a little bit. "You ready to go. We can't put this off."_

_Sam nodded and they both stood up. Dean kept his hand on Sam's shoulder. They made it to the door and Dean could feel Sam tensing up more. Dean leaned over and whispered something in his ear._

_"It's alright, baby brother," Dean whispered. "Calm down for me. We will get through this."_

_Sam started backing up. It didn't matter that Sam was already standing in front of Dean and when he backed up. Dean let go of Sam's shoulder and wrapped his arm around Sam's chest._

_"Okay, Sam." Dean turned Sam around so that he was facing him and he knelt down so that they were eye and eye. "Do you trust me?"_

_Sam nodded he head with out hesitation. That unwavering trust that Sam still had on Dean still amazed Dean. He still feels like all of this was his fault. If he wasn't so hellbent on hanging out with his so-called friends none of this would have happened. And after everything that has happened, Sammy still loved and trusted him with his life._

_"Do you believe that I will make sure that no one hurts you again?"_

_Again Sam nods. He looks at his big brother. He so hates this feeling. The feeling of being a burden on him. Dean looks at Sam and could almost see what he was thinking._

_"Sammy, stop." Dean shakes his head. "I don't want you thinking that. You understand me. You are not now or ever will be a burden to me."_

_"I just don't want to be scared anymore." Sam said with tears in his eyes. Dean opened up his arms and Sam all but collapsed in them. "I don't want to go." Sam mumbled in Dean's neck._

_"I know. But we have to," Dean calmly said rubbing Sam's back. His head leaning on Sam's. "I have to make sure you're okay."_

_Sam nodded in Dean's neck but would not let him go. Dean stood up with Sam in his arms and headed out the door towards the car. Deep down Dean didn't want to take Sam to the clinic either, but he knew after finding out that they attacked him and didn't use protection he had to be sure that his baby brother would be okay._..

"Sammy," Dean said now, in his brother's dorm room in sunny, warm California, and walks closer to him. "Look at me."

Sam looks over at Dean and all Dean sees is a scared little boy. A scared boy that still has a hard time voicing what he wants from him. But just because Sam doesn't say it out loud doesn't mean that Dean is completely clueless in the matter of Sammy. In that one look Dean knew that Sam needed to go to class he just didn't want to go alone. Dean walked back in the living room and grabbed his jacket and came back to the door.

"You ready?" Sam looked at Dean with a relaxed surprised look on his face, if that was even possible. But knowing Sam as Dean does, it was possible. "You didn't think I was going to leave you alone, did you."

Dean walked over to the door and walked out not even letting Sam answer that last part. Sam quickly followed his brother out the door.

They got to Sam's first class and Dean sat in the back of the room. The professor didn't say anything to the new addition to his class, but then again could the school really stop Dean from staying with his brother if he said he needed him. The professor had tried to cross Dean before. It hadn't ended well. So all have learn to pick the battles. And not mess with Dean Winchester. The rest of the day went by smoothly.

They went to the library so that Sam could return the book that he had and to finish up on his paper. Sam was sitting in the same spot where he was the night previous. Again working intently on his paper. But today was different, big brother was sitting across from him with his feet on the table, arms cross against his chest and his eyes closed.

Again the librarian from last night came up to him, but this time he wasn't startled. Dean looked at her first before Sam even noticed her. Big brother always makes things better, easier. Sam realizes that he's not scared when Dean's around.

"I am really sorry about last night," the librarian said.

Dean looked at her then over at Sam to see how he was handling it now. Sam smiled at the librarian. Dean nodded his head and closed his eyes back.

"It's okay," Sam smiled at her, and she walked away. That smile stayed with Sam the rest of their time there.

After about an hour they left the library. Sam was starting to calm down. He started talking more. Dean would just walk with him and listen. Right now, they were heading to Sam's English class, when Dean stopped him and said he needed some coffee.

"Dean," Sam said. "I can't. I'm going to be late."

"You can go without me. I'll be there." Dean turned and walked to the booth to get himself a cup of coffee.

Sam swallowed the anxiety that was swelling up in him. Sam ran his hand through his hair. He knew Dean was right. He could get to class on his own. He wasn't in Kindergarten any more. He didn't need his big brother to walk him to class. But right now, he couldn't get his legs to work. They seemed to be filled with lead. He hated this feeling. He didn't like that he needed Dean there just to move.

Dean got his coffee fully expecting to head towards Sam's English class. What he didn't expect was seeing his baby brother on the verge of a full panic attack. Rushing to Sam's side, Dean stood in front of Sam.

"Sammy?" Dean lifting Sam's head so that he could look at him. "Sammy, what happened?"

"You left," Sam was on the verge of tears. He gripped Dean's jacket. It just broke Dean's heart. "I-I...c-can't do...this."

"Okay, that's it," Dean says grabbing Sam by the arm. "We're going back to your dorm."

"I have to go to class." Sam whined, torn.

"You can't go like this," Dean said facing Sam. "Let's get you calmed down and you can go to class."

"But English..."

"You can make it up later." Dean said lightly. "I'll write you a note."

Sam smiled a little. Now Sam was really gripping Dean's jacket.

"Let's just get you back to your dorm."

Sam lowered his head to Dean's shoulder. Dean put his hand on the back of Sam's neck and squeezed a little. "Come on, baby brother. Pull yourself together. It's alright. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Sam straightened up and they walked back to Sam's dorm room. What the brothers did not notice, was that across the courtyard where they were at they were being watched. Three guys were watching the brothers intently.

"Is that them," one of the guys asked.

"Yeah, I know that's Dean. He use to hang around with them."

"I thought you said that his brother was a runt."

"I guess he got a growth spurt. Why don't you call her and let her know that they are both here and that they are together?"

The three guys walked back towards their car while one of them dialled his cell phone and put it to his ear.

"Yeah...We got a visual... they're on their way back to the dorm, looks like... What did you expect? Yeah, I know he took your brother from you... Give us a few days and you will have what you want. You will have both Sam and Dean Winchester. They will pay."

He closed his phone and got in the car with is friends.

**TBC**

**> Many hugs and kisses to you all**

**Mandancie**

_Please like my Mandancie page on Facebook_.


	3. Meeting Jessica

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I know, I don't own them. But I do like to take them out and play! :)**

**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story.**

**Warning: Non-con (rape) Implied in this chapter.**

**Chapter Three: Meeting Jessica**

Dean opened up the door to Sam's dorm and they walked inside. Sam behind Dean. Dean had noticed half-way back that Sam had grabbed hold of the hem of his jacket. Dean didn't say anything. He knew that it was what Sam needed. When they entered the dorm, Dean had Sam close the door. He couldn't help smiling a little when Sam closed and locked the door all without letting go of Dean's jacket.

Dean reached around and grabbed hold of Sam's wrist. He could feel the tenseness of the muscles in his brother's hand. He knew Sam had to be white-knuckling his jacket. Dean decided that he wouldn't make him let go, that he would just take it off. Removing his jacket became a hard feat seeing how Sam not only had hold of his jacket but his shirt as well. Dean got one arm out of the jacket and then turned and faced his little brother.

"Sammy," Dean coaxed. "It's okay." He reached up and put his hand on the back of Sam's neck and the other on his wrist. Sam did not look at Dean. His eyes stayed on the floor. Dean knew he was beating himself up over this. Dean pulled himself away from the jacket, but was still standing in front of Sam who was still holding it.

"Come on, Sammy. Look at me."

Sam looked up at Dean. He looked so tired. There was such fear and hurt in his eyes that it just broke Dean's heart.

"Why don't you give me your things and go lay down?"

Sam looked like he wanted to say something but he quickly closed his mouth. Sam let his backpack fall to the floor and he turned and headed towards his room. The entire time he has not let go of the jacket.

Dean grabbed the bag off the floor and put it on the table and walked to Sam's room and stood in the doorway. Sam was sitting on the end of the bed holding on to his jacket for dear life. Dean walked in the room and knelt down in front of Sam. He put his hands over Sam's on the jacket. With a great deal of force Dean pried Sam's hands off of the garment. Sam seemed to deflate when Dean removed the jacket from him. Dean was about to stand up so that he could put the coat on the chair when Sam lunged at him. Dean quickly stood up bringing Sam with him so that he wouldn't fall on the floor. Sam gripped Dean's collar. He pushed Dean to the far wall. Dean latched on to Sam's wrists because the look he saw in his brother's eyes the pure hatred and rage. But Dean knew that they were not geared towards him. Dean knew this was just another stage of Sam's attack. This was the reason he'd pushed to have Sam come back to the dorm. Sam was going through the last thing that he couldn't do when he was attacked so long ago. He couldn't fight back. Yeah, Dean usually got the brunt of this part, but he didn't care. Sam needed him around and Dean would not leave this for some unsuspecting soul to deal with when Dean was more that capable to handle his baby brother. And besides it was his job. Now it was his job to do the most hardest thing he could possibly do to his brother. He knew in a few seconds his brother was going to attack him and he was going to have to stop him. And by stopping his brother from hurting Dean or himself he was going to have to restrain him.

Dean knew it was coming. Sam's grip began to ease up. So did Dean's. He mirrored Sam and also loosened his grip on Sam's wrists. Dean took a deep breath and steeled his heart. Still lightly holding Sam's wrist, Dean closed his eyes and took another deep breath. When he opened them again, he saw something in Sam's eyes. Sam was looking at him, but he wasn't seeing Dean. In Sam's mind, he wasn't looking at his big brother. He was looking at Carlos, Jonathan and Peter; all in one. Sam pulled back and slammed Dean into the wall. Dean winced in pain but otherwise did not react. Sam began to pull from Dean's grasp. Dean let him go not so that Sam could hit him but so that he could get ready to do what he had to do. Dean moved away from the wall. Sam swung at him. Dean swerved out of the way. Sam swung at him again. This time hitting his intended target. He hit Dean in the jaw. Dean shook it off and readied himself again. This time when Sam swung, Dean was able to get in the right position so that he could wrap his arm around Sam's neck. Dean had Sam's neck in the crook of his elbow and he gripped under his arm. In this particular hold, Dean knew that it would cause the least amount of damage. But with the fact that Sam was now four inches taller than Dean it made it just a little bit difficult. But being the big brother he was he understood that he had to take control of this situation or it would escalate to something bigger. Each time he knew that Sam had to get that rage out. And Dean prayed that it he would always be there when that happened. He really was scared to see what would happen if by chance he wasn't there to hold Sam back.

Sam still struggling in Dean's arms. Sam pushing Dean against the wall so that he would let him go, but nothing worked. Dean slid down the wall until his was sitting on the floor and Sam was sitting with his back against Dean's chest. Once they were sitting down, Sam's struggle changed from wanting to hurt someone or something to just wanting to be let go. Now came the hardest part for Dean; the screaming. Sam started wailing. Sam trying to pry Dean's arms off of him, crying. Dean tried to keep his composure just quietly talk to Sam, reassuring him that it was alright. That he was with him and not in that garage. That as long as he was right here with Dean no one could hurt him.

After about several minutes of struggling, Sam went limp in Dean's arms. They just sat there. Dean looked down at Sam. His head on Dean's shoulder leaning against Dean's arm. Dean looked down at Sam and carded his finger thru Sam's hair and saw that Sam was starting to fall asleep.

"Sammy," Dean said shaking his arm a little.

"Yeah," Sam said, quietly.

"Why don't you get into bed?"

Sam began to press himself more and more into Dean's chest and shoulder.

"Sammy. Sammy." Dean tightening his grip on Sam. "I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere. But you need to sleep. So let's get you in bed."

"Why can't we just..."

"Dude," Dean cut Sam off. "I'm not as young as I use to be and you're definitely not the runt little squirt you were before."

"You saying I'm fat," Sam teased.

"Oh no Princess, I'd never say that," Dean jibed moved his arm from Sam. "Now get off me."

Sam sat up and got off the floor. Dean followed suit. Sam turned and looked at Dean. He saw the slight bruise that was forming on his brother's jaw. Sam started to get upset because he knew he was the reason Dean was hurt. But Dean stopped him.

"Hey. None of that." Dean shook his head. "I'm fine. Now get to bed and get some sleep. You know you'll feel better in the morning."

Sam put his head down and turned and walked over to the bed and sat down.

"D'n," Sam said as Dean pushed Sam down on the bed so that he could lay down.

"Yeah, Sammy." Dean grabbed Sam's legs and hoisted them on the bed.

" 'M sorry."

Dean started taking off Sam's shoes. "Nothing to be sorry about, baby brother. Get some sleep."

Once Dean had both shoes off, Sam turned over on his stomach and went to sleep. Dean pulled the cover out from under him and cover him with the blanket and walked out of the room and closed the door.

Dean leaned up against the door and scrubbed his hand through his spiked hair and down his face. Dean walked over to the couch and plopped on it. He was exhausted. Even thought this breakdown was not that bad, it still took a lot of energy to hold Sam like that. Dean sat back and closed his eyes. He rubbed his jaw where Sam had hit him. It didn't really hurt. His phone started ringing. Dean sat up and reached for his phone.

"Hello...hey dad...I'm with Sam...No...No, sorry dad...I'm not leaving him. He needs me now... I don't care about a hunt. This is Sammy I'm talking about. He comes first...I'm not leaving him...Well dad, you're the one that told me that I had to take care of Sammy, and that's what I'm doing...Dad, please, stop...I'm not leaving him alone. Not now. Once he's better I'll head out your way, but until then...He's fine...I'm not leaving...Bye dad." Dean closed his phone and dropped it on the coffee table. He leaned back against the couch when there was a knock at the door. Dean sighed and grudgingly got up and walked over towards the door.

"Who is it?"

"Sam open up." a woman's voice said on the other side of the door. "It's me."

Dean opened the door and looked at the woman standing on the other side. She was a couple of inches shorter than Dean. She had curly blonde hair. She looked way out of Sam's league, Dean thought. Staring at the young woman, a sense of deja vu nagged at the back of Dean's mind. He could have sworn he had seen her somewhere before. Then again, he'd seen lots of pretty women so maybe he was just getting her confused with someone else.

"Am I going to stand out here all day or are you going to let me in," she demanded impatiently.

You were cute until you opened your mouth, Dean thought scathingly.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Only I get to ask that question," she replied.

"Well, seeing as how this is my brother's place and I've never seen you before. Who are you?"

"Brother? You're Dean?"

"Who-are-you?"

"I'm Jessica," She finally conceded, realizing she wasn't going to get inside the dorm without giving her name.

"Oh so you're Jessica," Dean said more calmly. "Well, now is not a good time for visiting. Sam's asleep."

"Well, I live here too so step back."

"Over my dead body. Now, I'm going to ask you again; please leave. Now is not a good time."

"Sam!" Jessica called out. She tried to step in the dorm but was met by the 'Great wall of Dean Winchester. He was not budging.

"Can I pass, please," she asked, irritation clear in her tone.

"I said now it not a good time. Come back later. Preferably next week."

Jessica tried to push her way in, but that didn't go to well. Dean put his hand up preventing her from coming any closer.

"Like I said," Dean reiterated. "Now's not a good time. Come back later."

"It must be hard."

"What are you talking about?"

"Pretending that you can save your brother. I know who you are. And I know what you did. You will pay. And it's going to be more than you can bear."

She turned and left the doorway with Dean dumbfounded. He started racking his brain trying to remember where he's seen her before. He closed the door. It was going to come to him. He'll figure it out. Dean went into Sam's room to check on him. Sam looked so peaceful. Dean stepped back out and closes the door.

" _Come on, we're going to have a little fun," Carlos said standing by a workbench._

" _Bring him over here."_

_Jonathan and Peter were holding Sam's arms. They pulled a struggling Sam over to where Carlos was standing._

" _Hold him down."_

_Sam still trying to break free from their hold is forced to bend over the workbench. Peter held Sam's hands down and kept him bent over the table. Sam tried to move his hands free but he couldn't._

" _Let me go!" Sam cried fearfully as he struggled to get loose._

_Peter, tying ropes on Sam's wrists, pulls out his pocket knife and presses it against Sam's throat._

" _If you say one more thing," Peter whispers in his ear. "I will cut your throat. Now stop moving." He pressed the knife further on Sam's skin._

_Carlos began tugging on Sam's clothes. Tears began to flow from his eyes as he knew the inevitable was about to happen. And all he wanted was Dean._

Dean is laying on the couch, when he hears whimpering coming from Sam's room. He quickly gets up and rushes into the room. He sees Sam having a nightmare. He goes to Sam's side and sits on the edge of the bed. He starts rubbing Sam's chest.

"Come on, baby brother. Wake up."

Dean gets no response from Sam so he rubs his chest harder. Sam wakes up in a gasps. His eyes wide with fear. Tears streaming down his face. Sam looks over at Dean, sits up and wraps his arms around Dean.

"It's okay, Sammy. It was just dream. It's over now."

Sam's shaking in Dean's arms.

"I got you baby brother."

"All...all I-I w-wanted...was...y-you," Sam said in repeated gasps. "They- they..."

"Stop Sam," Dean said rubbing Sam's back. "It's over. I'm right here.

"Please don't leave!" Sam cried out.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby brother. No where."

**TBC**

**A/N: I want to thank everyone that has Alerted, Favored, and Reviewed my story! Please be kind and review. Let me know how I did. (I'm really worried about this chapter)**

**Hugs and Kisses to you all**

**Mandancie :)**

_Check out my Mandancie page on Facebook. Leave prompts of stories you would like me to write, or just to talk. :)_


	4. True Plots Revealed

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural! But I sure wish I did. :)**

**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story.**

**Chapter 4: True Plots Revealed**

Jessica walked out of the dorm building, fuming. How dare that bastard! she thought, feverishly searching her bag for her cell phone. So bent up in rage she didn't even notice a man standing in front of her.

"Jess," Josh said.

Jessica's head shot up to see who she was trying to reach in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" she said more startled than angry.

"I saw you go in. Did you see Sam?"

"No," she sounded deflated. "The other one was there. When are you going to take them?"

"Can't do it while Dean is there. It's not going to happen."

"And why not? I want both of them. I want Dean especially dead." Jess' voice grew louder as she kept talking. Josh glanced around at the people walking past them, giving them strange looks. He grabbed her by her elbow and started guiding her away.

"Keep your voice down. Or do you want to just announce to everyone what it is you are trying to do?"

"Let go of me!" Jessica yanked her arm out of Josh's grasp.

They walked towards Josh's truck. Josh opened up the passenger door.

"Get in," Josh said.

Jessica got in the truck and Josh walked around and got in the driver's side.

"What the hell?" Josh hissed.

"What are you talking about?"

Jessica looked at Josh like he had just grown a second head.

"I would like not to announce that we have something illegal planned. You want Sam and Dean Winchester?" She nodded. "Well, I suggest that you stop talking about it in front of his dorm."

She gave an exasperated sigh. She knew she did a dumb thing but she just want those Winchester boys to pay for what they did to her brother.

"Now listen," Josh quietly said. "I know you want revenge. I do too. No one should have gone out like that. The way they died was wrong. But if we are going to avenge their deaths then we have to be smart about it. When those two killed them..."

"Stop," Jessica said. "I know how they looked. I was there. But Sam didn't do that."

"They were both there." Josh looked over at Jessica.

"Yeah, they were both there, but I can just tell. Sam didn't do it. That, that was all Dean."

Josh drove out of the parking lot after that revelation.

_0000_0000_0000_0000_

Sam woke up to his dark bedroom. He looked over to the clock that was on his nightstand and saw that it was nine at night. He got up and walked into the living room and saw that Dean was asleep on the couch. Sam went to get the blanket he had in the hall closet and covered Dean up, when he saw it. The bruise on his brother's cheek was really prominent now. Sam couldn't help but to feel absolutely guilty. Sam plopped down in the chair next to the couch.

Dean woke up with the feeling that he was being watched.

"What, Sammy?" Dean said. His eyes still closed but turning his head towards Sam.

"I am so sorry, Dean," Sam apologized.

Dean opened his eyes and looked at his brother. He could see the guilt all over his face. He sat up on the couch, letting the blanket fall off of him. He turned and faced his brother who was looking down at the floor.

"Hey," Dean sternly said. "Look at me."

Slowly Sam's eyes met Dean's.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I hit you. I know I hit you."

"Yeah," Dean shrugged his shoulders. "You got a lucky shot." Like it was no big deal to Dean that he got punched in the face.

"Dean..."

"Sam." Looking at Sam like it was no big deal. "You got a lucky shot. It's fine."

"Dean..."

"Stop."Dean said standing up walking to the refrigerator to get something to drink. "I've told you before there is no apologizing. You just got a lucky shot. It's no big deal."

Sam got up and followed his brother in the kitchen. "No big deal! Look at your face."

"Yeah. And?"

"Dean," Sam sighed. "I did that."

"And if I knew you did it on purpose you wouldn't be standing here now." taking a drink from the Gatorade bottle he took out of the refrigerator. "Sam, I know how to deal with your episodes, okay. This," gesturing to his face. "is nothing. Okay. Stop worrying about it."

"You're impossible." Sam sunk in the chair at the table.

Dean smirked and took another sip of his drink and then became serious. "Sammy," Dean sat down across from him. "When I'm not here, does Jessica live here?"

"No," Sam said. "Well, she's crashed here a few nights, but..." Dean laughs and nods his head. "Dude, it's nothing like that. I sleep on the couch. She takes my room."

Dean laughs. "Oh Sammy, God bless you. You're such a gentleman."

Sam balls up a scrap paper that was on the table and throws it at Dean. Dean dodges it but still laughs at him.

Dean didn't like Jessica. It wasn't like he wanted to sway Sam on her. He knew that his baby brother liked her. If baby brother was happy then Dean was going to keep his mouth closed.

"She came up here while you were sleep," Dean said.

"I'll give her a call later," Sam said reaching over grabbing Dean's Gatorade and taking a sip.

"Dude, what the hell?" Dean exclaimed.

"What?" Sam innocently said. A grin formed across his face that made Dean see that his episode was over. Dean shook his head.

Dean got up and walked over to the couch. Sam still sitting at the table drank some more of the Gatorade.

"Hey Dean."

Dean sat on the couch and laid his head on the back of the couch.

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"Have you heard from Dad?"

Dean brow creased and turned an looked at his brother over the back of the couch.

"What? Where on earth did that come?"

"I just wanted to know if you've talked with him. Wanting to know if he's still mad."

"Sam," Dean started.

"Dean, it's okay. I'm fine. Just...did you talk to dad?"

Dean turned back around on the couch. "Yeah, he called while you were sleep."

"What did he say?"

"It's nothing, Sammy."

Sam got up from the table and walked over to Dean and sat in the chair. "What did he say?"

Dean pursed his lips and shook his head. He knew that their dad was angry when he found out the real reason that Sam wanted to stay in that school for a whole year. Dean tried to tell Sam that their dad was more angry with him than Sam, but after the big argument that they had while Dean was getting supplies Sam wasn't so sure.

" _What! The! Hell!," John was fuming._

" _Dad," Sam wanting his dad to calm down._

" _That's why. This whole time this is the reason why you asked to stay in one school."_

" _Dad..."_

" _Answer me, dammit."_

" _It was the only way to get that letter."_

" _You went through all that… the beatings, hiding the bruises, just so you could get into college?!"_

" _Dad, why are you so angry? You told me you wanted me to do good in school. I did. I got a full ride into one of the top schools in the country. Please tell me what did I do wrong?"_

_John was so angry, Sam could have sworn he'd seen smoke coming out of his ears. Sam really wish Dean was here. Sam didn't like it when their dad was upset. He didn't like the way it made him feel. He was scared when Dean wasn't around. Sam couldn't breathe. Sam was backing up away from their dad. He could hear his dad yelling at him, but Sam was so panicked that he just didn't understand what he was saying._

_Dean parked the Impala outside the motel room door and got out. When he got close to the door he could hear their dad yelling. Dean shook his head and opened the door. What he saw had him totally floored. Sam was standing up against the wall, he looked like he was going to pass out at anytime. And their dad was yelling, standing at the other side._

" _What the hell is going on?" Dean closed the door._

_Both Winchesters looked over at Dean. Dean looked at Sam and could see that he visibly was shaking._

" _Did you know about this?" John's voice still didn't lower from his elder son's entrance._

_Dean walked over to Sam. Dean could see that Sam was trying to calm down. Dean just looked at Sam._

" _Dean!" John yelled, but Dean wasn't paying attention. His focus was on his baby brother. Sam was scared and Dean knew it. He first priority was to Sam. Then it was to try and defuse the situation that he walked in on._

_Sam looked at his brother trying to calm his breathing. Dean's here now. Dean will make it better. That was all that was going through Sam's mind._

_Dean watched his brother and nodded. Then he turned to their dad. Standing directly in front of Sam._

" _Did I know about what?" Dean said quietly trying to calm the situation._

" _This letter business. That Sam had planned the whole thing; staying in one school."_

_Dean looked at his father. John looked at both of his sons and shook his head._

" _Of course," John nodded. "You both knew. Both my sons feel that they have to lie to me."_

" _Dad," Dean said._

_"Dean, don't. You knew that Sam wanted to leave."_

" _Sam's not leaving. He's just going to school. He wants to go to college. Why is that so wrong?"_

_John started pacing. He couldn't believe that he sons would deceive him like that. He just couldn't stand the fact that Sam would be leaving. He's going to be unprotected. John had his hands in his hair._

" _How could you lie to me like that?"John finally asked._

_Dean looked down and then back up at their dad._

" _We didn't lie to you," Dean said._

" _No. Then explain to me why you kept this from me. How are we suppose to protect Sam if he's not here? Because you're not going with him."_

_Sam gripped the back of Dean's shirt. Dean reached back and gripped Sam's wrist. John saw the gesture and became even more furious. He didn't know what upset him more. The fact that Sam was afraid of him or that Sam needed to be anchored to his brother. He didn't know if he at that point he was more angry with his boys for keeping the letter from him or angry with himself that he put his boys in this position.  
_

" _You're not going. NEITHER OF YOU! We have a job to do."_

" _Dad," Dean said. "I won't stop hunting. But you know I never wanted this for Sam. Sam was suppose to grow up and have a normal life. You wanted me in this life, and that's fine. But it was never suppose to be Sammy. And honestly, I don't care what you say, this is what Sam wanted. Sammy wanted to go to college. It was my job to make sure that he goes. And when he goes, and he will go. I'll be right there with him. Now, I'll hunt. I'll help hunt with you and Uncle Bobby and Caleb and whomever else. But I will always be there for Sammy. Nobody is going to stop me from taking care of my brother. Not even you."_

_John looked at his son, he was in mixed feelings. He was proud that his son stood up to his convictions, but he just couldn't see why they were so against him._

" _Dad, you trained us. You trained me to protect Sam. But you had to know that he was going to want to go to school. I will hunt and we will kill the bastard that killed mom, but Sammy is going to have a normal life. He will not be caught up in all this."_

_John walked over towards the door. His coat in his hand. He stood at the door for a second and then before opening the door he said, "If you're going to go, then go. If you're gone when I get back, don't come looking for me. I won't be here."_

_John walked out of the door. Dean could feel Sam's grip tightening on his shirt. Dean put his head down. The last thing he wanted was to have to choose between his dad and his brother. But I think his dad knew that deep down there was no choice. Never. It would always be Sam. He loved his dad. John Winchester was his hero. But Sam, Sammy was his heart. What hurt more than anything was that this was what their dad had trained him to do. 'Take care of Sammy' that has been wood-grained into him since he was four. There was no way he could stop now. Especially after what all has happened. He dropped the ball once, he wasn't going to do it again. Dean will always be there for Sam.  
_

_000_000_000_000_000_00_

"What did dad want?" Sam asked.

"Don't worry about it, Sammy." Dean almost pleaded.

Sam put his head down.

"Sammy," Dean scooted closer towards Sam.

"Dad wanted you to come with him, didn't he?"

"Sammy."

Sam put his head down, then looked up at his brother. A small smile crept his lips. "You should go."

"Sam. No. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll be fine. I have enough money to last me a couple of weeks. I'm fine now. Go see what dad wants."

"Sammy, I'm not leaving you."

"It's okay, Dean. I'll call you, or you'll call me. Go to dad and see what he wants."

Sam got up and went to his room and closed the door. Dean just sat on the couch. He looked over at the closed door. Then down at the phone that sat on the coffee table. There was no way that he was going to leave his brother like this. That was just not going to happen. His phone rang. He looked down at it. He picked it up and walked out of the dorm.

"Hey," Dean said closing the door.

**TBC**

****

**Many hugs and kisses**

**Mandancie :)**


	5. Plan Implemented

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. They belong to Eric Kripke**

**As always, special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story.**

**Chapter Five: Plan Implemented**

Sam walked into his room and closed the door. He heard Dean's phone ring and Dean leaving the dorm. He couldn't help but feel sad that Dean was going. He still wanted his big brother, but he didn't want their dad to be upset with Dean. He knew that Dean really wanted to hunt instead of being with his burden, little brother. After a few minutes Sam walked out of his bedroom. No big brother sitting on the couch. He didn't know why it hurt him so bad. It just did. In that one moment he knew he really needed his big brother and he wasn't here. Sam walked into the kitchen and got a cup and filled it with water when his door opened. He turned with a fright, he didn't even know that it was unlocked.

Dean walked back in the dorm, hanging up his phone. He looked over and saw a shell shocked little brother staring at him.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked putting his phone down on the table.

Sam dropped the cup he was holding in the sink and was in Dean's arms in an instant.

"I wasn't gone five minutes, dude. What the hell?"

"I heard you walk out. I thought you really left." Sam let go of his brother and stepped back.

"Why would I leave?" Dean asked. Looking at his brother like he should have know better. "You need me. I'm here. You asked me to stay. I'm staying. Nothing's going to change that."

"I told you to leave."

"Yeah, and when has that ever worked when you're not feeling good," Dean smiled. "You can't get rid of me that easy."

"What about dad?"

"What about him? Sam, I'm not going anywhere. Not anytime soon. So why don't you go back to bed. I'll be here in the morning when you wake up."

"Goodnight, Dean," Sam smiled and walked back to his room.

Dean watch Sam go to is room and close the door. He walked over to the couch and sat down. He laid himself out on the couch and tried to get himself some sleep.

Sam goes to his cell phone and dials a number.

"Hey, I heard you stopped by...No I'm alright...It's just Dean. He's harmless when he wants to be...don't worry about him...just give him a few days to get to know you...Jess, it's fine...Don't worry about it. I'll get the notes...Thanks for worrying about me...Yeah...I'll talk to you tomorrow...No I can't see you tonight...What...Alright fine...I'll meet you at the Centre."

Sam opens up he bedroom door and sees Dean asleep on the couch. Sam writes Dean a note and leaves it on the coffee table next to Dean. He grabs his jacket and walks out of the dorm.

Sam walking towards the Student Centre looks down at his watch. 9:30. He sees a few people still in the Centre and goes in and waits for Jessica. He don't have to wait long. Jessica walks up and puts her hand on his shoulder. Sam jumps a little but plays it off that he didn't hear her walk up.

"Hey, Sam," Jessica says. Sitting down across from him. "A little jumpy aren't you?"

"I didn't hear you walk up, is all." Sam smiles at her.

Jessica smiles back at Sam. They sit there for a few minutes in silence. Sam starts to fidget with the table. He really didn't want to be out too long. Especially since Dean didn't know where he was and that he was out.

"So," Sam first to break the silence that was sounding them. "What did you want to tell me that you couldn't tell me over the phone?"

Jessica smiled at Sam again. She looked around and noticed that the last set of people walked out of the Centre.

"Let me ask you something, Sam."

"Sure, what?"

"Did you really think you could get away?"

Sam's brow creased and sat back in his chair. "What? What are you talking about?"

Just as his back hit the chair an arm came from behind Sam and wrapped around his neck. It caught Sam by surprise, but training kicked in instantaneously. Sam gripped the shoulder and neck of the person behind him and flipped them over his head. Their body making contact with the table. Both Sam and Jessica stood up from the body laid out on the table. Sam looked at Jessica and saw that her attention was on someone behind him. Sam quickly turned and saw three other guys standing there. Sam watched them, waiting to see who was going to make the first move. The guy on the right was first to come forward and Sam wasted no time laying him out on the floor. The other two came at him at the same time. They got in a few good punches, but nothing that really could shake Sam. These guys truly underestimated Sam Winchester. They didn't know who trained him. Sam could hold his own. After all three guys were laid out on the floor, Sam reached back and grabbed Jessica's wrist so that they could leave. When they started to move, Sam felt a sharp prick on his wrist. He looked over and saw Jessica standing next to him with a needle in her hand. Sam let go of her hand and started to back away. He started to feel dizzy. His legs started to feel like Jell-O. Pure fear was over his face. Sam looked over at the door to the Centre and started to walk that way. In his mind, that was getting cloudier and cloudier by the second, he knew he needed to get to Dean. That is all he wants to do. Get away from here and get to Dean. But Sam's legs just doesn't agree with his mind. Sam collapses on the floor. He feels his body move so that he's laying on his back. He sees Jessica standing over him. She kneels down by his head.

"Oh Sam, we're going to have some fun."

That's the last conscious thing Sam hears before he passes out.

_000_000_000_000_000_-000_000_

_Dean and Sam have been in this town for two weeks now. It was supposed to be a overnight stay just to get some rest, but their dad called and told them to stay put wherever they were and wait for either him or Bobby to call. Sam didn't want to stay, but really didn't have a choice. Whereever Dean was that's where Sam would be. Dean actually liked the town. He made some fast friends. They had to stop at the local garage. The Impala was making strange noises while Dean and Sam were heading into town. When Dean stopped, it was just getting to be evening. Sam was asleep in the back of the Impala. When Dean got out of the car he was greeted by the owner._

" _Fancy the car," he said._

_Dean always had pride in that Impala. And he loved the attention he got when he drove it. Dean couldn't help it, it was his baby._

" _Thanks," Dean said sliding his hand over the hood of the car._

" _I'm Grant," He extended his hand out._

" _Dean," Dean shook his hand._

" _What seems to be the problem?"_

" _Actually I think she might need a tune-up. We've been driving all day and I need to check her plugs."_

" _Well, if you want I can give it a look see and we can know for sure. Bring it on in."_

_Dean drove the car into the garage._

" _You can wait in the other room if you want," Grant said. "It shouldn't take me long."_

" _No that's alright," Dean said. "Baby brother's in the back seat asleep, and I like to be around if someone else is under my baby's hood." Dean tapped the roof of the car._

" _Well, there's a cot if you want to take him out and he can lay there while 'we' work on her."_

" _No that's alright. Thanks. He's fine right there. I can keep an eye on him."_

" _Suit yourself." Grant said. "You ready to get started."_

_Dean and Grant worked on the Impala. They've been working for about twenty minutes when three guys walked in._

" _Hey dad," Carlos said walking in the garage. "Where are you?"_

" _Here," Grant called out. "Come on back."_

_Carlos came to the back of the garage with his friends._

" _Oh awesome car," Carlos said walking back there. "Who's is it?"_

_Dean stood up from behind the hood of the car._

" _This is Dean," Grant introduced to his son. "Dean, this is my son Carlos. And these are his lackey friends._

" _Jonathan and Peter," Carlos said._

" _Nice to meet you," Dean said._

_Carlos walked over and they shook hands. Dean noticed that Jonathan and Peter didn't come over. They pretty much stayed back and watched. Jonathan was standing by the back door of the Impala. Dean didn't take his eyes off of Jonathan, as long as he was standing by the door._

" _Hey dad," Carlos said. Taking Dean out of his thoughts. "Can we get the car tonight?"_

" _For what?" Grant asked getting a tool from his work bench._

_Dean and Jonathan exchanged looks. Dean continued to work on the car but his attention still didn't leave the fact that he was standing next to Sam's door. Dean didn't know if he was sizing him up or not, but he didn't like that he was that close to his car. Call it big brother intuition, it was something about Jonathan that didn't really sit well with Dean._

" _We just want to ride around," Carlos said._

" _Yeah, I've heard that one before," Grant said handing Dean another part. Dean went back to working on the car, but he had a clear view of the back seat. He knew he was being silly, but he didn't like the feeling he got from him._

" _Come on, dad," Carlos almost sounded like he was whining. Dean smirked at that under the hood._

" _Fine, but take your sister, she's in the back."_

" _Seriously," Carlos was now really whining._

" _Take your sister, or you don't get the car. Just take her home."_

_Dean was surprised when Grant said that he daughter was there. He had no idea that there was anyone else in the garage._

" _Jessica," Grant called out._

_A little girl that looked no older than Sam walked out of the back room. Dean looked at her and thought, wouldn't be cool if she and Sam became friends._

__000__ _0000_0000_-000_000_-000_000_00_

Dean woke up in a state. He sat straight up on the couch.

"Sonofabitch" Dean said.

He knew he'd seen Jessica before. Oh crap, Dean thought. He got up from the couch and went to Sam's room door.

"Sam."

No answer.

"Sammy."

Still no answer. Dean opened the door and his heart dropped. The bed was empty.

"DAMMIT!"

Dean walked back into the living room and that's when he saw it. A piece of paper. Dean walked over and read the paper.

_Dean_

_Jessica called. Wanted to see me. I should be back soon._

_Sam_

"SONOFABITCH!"

Dean grabbed his jacket and his gun and ran out of the dorm. He looked down at his phone. 9:50. Dean ran across the courtyard. When he got to the the buildings, that's when he saw a group of people carrying someone. Dean looked hard enough he saw Sam's jacket.

"SAM!" Dean yelled running towards them.

Jessica turned and saw Dean running towards them.

"Hurry up," She yelled at the three guys.

They put Sam's unconscious form in the back of the van that was waiting for them. Dean was in a full run heading towards them. By the time Dean made it to where they were, the van was driving off.

"Dammit, Sammy," Dean gasped out of breath.

Dean stood there completely upset that his brother was gone. Someone just kidnapped his baby brother. Dean started walking back towards the dorm when his phone rang. He looked down and saw the name that was on the caller ID. He pushed the green button and put the phone to his ear.

"Where are you taking my baby brother?" Dean trying his best to control his breathing.

"Now, Dean," Jessica said. "You need to get out of that delusion that you can save your brother."

"Where are you taking Sam?"

"Oh Dean, don't worry, we can't have this party without you. I will let you know when and where you will find Sam. I just want to have some fun with little Sammy first."

"If you harm a hair on my baby..."

"Oh Dean, I love it when you get all protective like that. Tell you what, just so that I don't seem like a total bitch, I'll give you a hint. Everything will come full circle. You and your precious brother will pay for what you did to my brother."

"Last warning," Dean was no longer seething. His breathing was calm. "You let my brother go. I'll let you live. If I have to find you, you'll never see the light of day again."

"And what are you going to do, huh? I have Sammy." Jessica getting a little nervous off of the calmness of how Dean was talking. He was no longer yelling.

"Yes you do." Dean said with creepily calm. "And don't think just because you have him now, that I will not find him. I will get my baby brother back. And his physical condition better be the way you took him. If one thing is wrong, what happened to your brother will be a walk in the park compared to what I will do to you. Now you think on that. And if the next words aren't you telling me where you are taking my brother, then this conversation is over."

"Who the hell do you think you are talking to?" Jessica was full on yelling now. "I will kill your precious brother."

"You kill him. I will let you know now, there will be no place on this earth that you can hid from me. Did you really think that just because you have Sam now that you have the upper hand. Rest assured I will get my brother back and when I do you better not be there."

Dean moved the phone away from his ear, but did not hang up.

"Bastard," she yelled throwing the phone in the back of the van. It landed right above Sam's head barely missing him by mere inches.

Dean could hear her get upset and toss the phone. He put the phone back to his ear. An overwhelming calm washed over him. After twenty years of sleeping in the same room with Sam, Dean can always tell his brother's breathing. The evenness of his breathing lets Dean know that he's unconscious but not out of the woods. Dean, with the phone still at this ear, rushes back to Sam's dorm. He knows what he has to do. And as long as he can hear his baby brother breathing, he can still be sane. After a few moments Dean arrives at the dorm and when he gets in he heads straight for Sam's laptop. With his head tilted and the phone resting between his shoulder and his ear, Dean boots up the computer and goes to the cell phone company site. He clicks on the GPS section and puts in Sam's phone number. Dean couldn't help but shake his head.

"Oh Sammy, I'm so glad you talked me into this," Dean said to himself.

" _Hey Dean," Sam said holding the cell phone display._

" _Yeah, Sammy," Dean said walking over to him._

" _We should get these."_

" _What? Why?" Dean said. "What's wrong with the phone that I have?"_

" _Well, why I'm at school, I can track you and know where you are." Sam said not even looking at Dean, but reading the specs on the phone._

" _Sammy," Dean wheedled._

" _Dean," Sam finally looking at him. "Look, you're not going to be around that much. At least I'll be able to know where you are." Sam brought his secret weapon; his puppy dog eyes._

" _Oh dammit, Sammy," Dean sighed. "Fine. We can get the phones."_

_A huge grin came across Sam's face. Dean shook his head. What he wouldn't do for that boy._

After a few moments on the laptop, Dean got the information that he needed.

"Gotcha," Dean smirked.

**TBC**

**Many hugs and kisses**

**Mandancie :)**

_Please check out my Mandancie Facebook page. Ask questions. Leave me prompts. Or just to say 'hi'._


	6. Welcome to Hell

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Supernatural, but it's sure fun to play with them! :)**

**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story! :)**

**Chapter 6: Welcome to Hell**

Dean sat at the table with the phone still at his ear, watching as the small red dot on the screen moved across the map. He went from holding the phone to having his head leaning on his shoulder. There was nothing being said. Dean was just listening. It was faint. It was quiet, but it was there. Breathing. Air being brought into the lungs and then the released from them again. It wasn't that it was just breathing. It was the fact that it was his baby brother breathing. Sam breathing meant that Sam was alive. Sam alive meant that everyone that was in a hundred mile radius was still alive. Dean saw that he could transfer the image from the laptop to his phone that his brother so wanted him to get, but he just couldn't. That would mean that he would have to hang up the phone, and he just couldn't bring himself to do that. He had to hear the inflating and deflating of his brother's lungs. He hears that; he can remain calm. He can keep his head and really find out where that bitch is taking his brother.

It's been twenty minutes. Dean was pacing the floor when he heard a noise come from the other side of the phone. He heard the rustling of movement. Dean realized that the guys that have Sam doesn't know that his phone is still on.

"Come on...bring...he's heavy..." there was a door slam and then nothing.

For the first time, Dean pulls the phone away from his ear and look to see if the line got disconnected. It's still on just he don't hear his brother breathing anymore. Which means they have moved him. Dean rushes over to the laptop to see where the marker had stopped at. He puts the phone down on the table and pulls up the map so that he can get a clearer picture of where they have taken him. When he sees what is on the map, his heart drops in the pit of his stomach. They were never suppose to go back to that place. Not there. Dean grabs his phone and the keys and rushes out of the door. The computer screen kept flashing if it needed to triangulate the specific destination of where the phone was. Dean didn't need to. When he saw the town where the marker stopped, Dean knew exactly where he was going to find his brother.

Dean got in the car and pulled out of the parking lot. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm so sorry."

_0000_-0000_-0000_000_000_000_

Two guys pulled Sam's unconscious body into the building. They let Sam go and he fell in a heap on the floor. Sam started to come to. The first thing that hit him was not the pain in his wrist from the needle prick. Not the slight bump on his head from falling on the floor. It was the smell. A smell that was associated to something he was never suppose to remember. That he didn't want to remember. That he wanted to forget that ever happened to him. It was not only oil and grease in the air but blood and fear that Sam could smell. It lingered in his nose. He could feel the bile rising up in the back of his throat. Panic starting to rise up. And in the back of his mind, he knew that Dean was no where near him. Dean didn't even know where Sam was because he left Dean asleep on the couch at his dorm.

Two guys pulled on Sam until he was sitting with his back against the farthest wall. They tied his hands and reached his arms above his head and tied it to the hook that was on the wall above his head. Jessica came into Sam's line of sight. She walked up to him and squatted in front of him. She got low enough so that she was straddling his thighs. She was so close to him that their faces were mere inches apart.

"Now, Sam," She seductively said almost kissing him. "I want you to listen well. A lot of things happened in this place. You are going to tell me everything that happened."

Sam struggles to move his head. But she is gripping his face hard until her nails were digging in his skin.

"What are you talking about?" Sam hissed in pain of the pressure on his face.

"Well, Sam, let me tell you a little story," Jessica lightly kissed Sam's forehead. "I had a brother. And like you, I loved my big brother. Well someone took him away from me."

Jessica loosened her grip on Sam's jaw and then started lightly kissing were her nails left impressions in his skin. Sam tried to move away from her, but there was little movement that he could do because he was against the wall.

"I loved my brother. Yeah, he was a pain, but he was my brother. I know you understand. Well, picture if you would, someone killing my brother and then skipping town. And not only that, but my parents, namely my Dad, wouldn't even go after the people who were responsible for my brother's death."

"What's this have to do with me?" Sam asked trying to get as far away from her as he could. Pressing further to the wall.

"Well, here's the thing… you knew my brother," She said as if that tidbit of information would help Sam put the puzzle pieces together.

"I don't know your brother," Sam was almost screaming now. He was starting to struggle under Jessica's weight.

"Actually, you and your brother knew him. His name was Carlos. Him and two of his friends..."

Sam started shaking at the mention of Carlos' name. Everything clicked in his mind as if someone pulled a veil from his eyes. The last lock that was keeping the past from the present had finally opened up. Four years ago came into his mind like a rush. He really couldn't hear anything else she was saying. His mind was not in the present he was in this garage four years ago. The rope. The wooden bench. The hook. The fear. The pain. _Dean_. Now panic was really rising up in him. He could feel the knife on his neck. He could feel the intense pain. _Dean_. He could feel the hurt in his shoulders from being hoisted in the air. Tears started welling up in his eyes. _Dean_. Dean's not here. He promised he would never bring me back to this place.

Sam was now lost in his mind. His breathing starts to become erratic. Jessica stopped talking when she noticed that he wasn't paying her any attention. She leaned in close and turned his head so that she could whisper this last part in his ear.

"Well Sammy, I know you can hear me. We're gonna have some fun," she laughed.

The reaction that she got next was not the one she was expecting. Sam's head snapped to where he was looking at her. Sam went feral. He was not the same timid, scared boy that was under her. He became totally different. The glare that was coming from him made it seem that he wasn't just looking at her he was looking through her to the very depth of her soul. Sam started bucking under his restraints. Pulling his arms, trying to loosen the ropes around him. He was banging his head against the wall and with one good shot he head butted an unsuspecting Jessica in the mouth. It happened so fast she didn't have time to get out of the way of the thrashing head.

She cupped her mouth with her hand while rolling off of Sam's lap to avoid another assault. She could feel the blood in her mouth. She walked pass Josh.

"Deal with him," Jessica told Josh.

She walked out of the back area and headed towards the front so that she could get something for her mouth. It really didn't hurt to her, it was more a surprise that it happened more than anything. She walked over to the small sink that was by the wall. There's a small mirror behind it. She bent over the sink to rinse her mouth out so that she could get a good look at it. She stood back up to something hard hitting the back of her head. When she looked in the mirror she saw who was behind her.

"Well, I have to say," She said. "I didn't think you would get here this fast."

"Where is he?" Dean said in a calm cool voice.

Jessica wiped her mouth with the towel that was laying beside the sink and turned and faced Dean. A small smirk flashed across Dean's face when he saw her mouth.

"Where is Sam?"

"They're having fun with little Sammy," she told him with nothing but contempt on her face.

Dean, with lightening like reflexes, gripped Jessica's collar and yanked her from the sink and pushed her into the far wall. Dean was leaning against her with his arm across her neck. She couldn't move.

"Don't think that I don't know who you are," Dean said looking at Jessica shake under his hand. "Sammy never met you because he was asleep in the car, but I don't forget a face. It's been bugging me since you stopped by yesterday."

Jessica was struggling to get free from Dean, but the grip he had on her collar and then that same arm was leaning against her neck. So the more she struggled the more pressure he put on his arm.

"You know who I am?" Jessica gasped out.

Dean nodded.

"Then you know why I'm doing this. You killed my brother."

"Yeah, I did," Dean nodded, answering like it was any other question. "What were you planning on doing? All you had to do was leave well enough alone."

"You KILLED Carlos," Jessica was straining against Dean's arm. Full of rage and anger, she tried and failed to pull herself away from the wall.

"You're parents understood the deal we had. Why can't you?"

"My parents were punks. They had proof of who killed Carlos and they chose not to pursue it."

Dean looked at her. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He was perfectly clear when he sent the tape of the assault to her parents that they were not to be pursued.

_After Sam had taken his shower, and Dean had calmed down. Dean insisted that Sam lay down and rest for a bit. Within minutes of Dean putting Sam to bed, Sam was asleep. Dean looked at his sleeping brother. The hurt and anger was still fresh in his mind. His nerves were raw. They hurt his baby brother in the worst way possible, and Sam didn't tell him. But Dean knew. One look at his clothes and he knew._

_Dean took some deep breaths and calmed himself. He knew he had a crap load of cleaning up he needed to do before they left town. So again Dean did the hardest thing he had to do. He left the motel room leaving Sam asleep on the bed. He hoped that Sam wouldn't wake up before he got back. He just knew that he had to hurry with what he had to do._

_Dean drove back to the garage and went inside. He wasn't going to do much, he just wanted to get the surveillance tapes and the pipe. When he walked in, everything was pretty much the same as it was when he carried Sam out of there. Dean went to the back office and grabbed the tape and then went over to where Carlos, Jonathan, and Peter were. He could hear laboured breathing coming from Carlos. Dean walked over to Carlos' body and knelt down beside him._

" _You know, I really liked you. You were a cool dude," Dean said to Carlos, not knowing if he understood what he was saying, he had beaten the other man pretty badly- to death- or so he'd thought. "But you did two things that I just can't abide by. You took my brother. And then you hurt him. Now you're going to die, and pretty soon, but I want you to die knowing that the reason your like this is because you didn't heed my rules. 'Don't mess with Sammy.' If by chance you survive this, just know that if anyone comes after me or Sammy then they will receive the same fate that you and our bastard friends here got."_

_Dean stood up and with the pipe and video in his hand, walked out of the garage for the last time. Two months later, Dean sent a copy of the surveillance tape of that night to Grant and his wife with a note._

**Grant**

**I want you to know what your son was like. Here is the tape of the last things your son did before he was killed. I want you to pay close attention to what your precious son did that cost him his life. That's my baby brother who's on that table. Now if you want to pursue criminal charges, I do believe that you will not find me. I would like not to involve my brother in this. He's been through too much because of your son and his friends. Just know you will never see me or my brother in this town again. You stay away from me and mine. I'll stay far away from you.**

**Your son's killer**

_Grant watched the video of his son raping what looked like a small boy and he rushed out of the room towards the bathroom and threw up violently into the toilet bowl. So much, he wanted to find the bastard that killed his son and then have the audacity to contact him and brag about it. But after he finish bringing up last night's dinner he sat and thought about it. What if someone did that to his daughter, Jessica? What if he knew where they were? Deep down Grant knew that he would not only kill the bastard who had dare rape her, but his entire family. So he was torn on what to do. So he decided that night after watching the tape and then destroying it and play ignorance over the death of his son. It was hard on his family, but he knew he had to insure the lasting reputation that their small town had. He knew that they were one of the few small towns left and if it got out that his son was a rapist he don't think he could handle it. So he played stupid to what happened to his son and his friends, and tried to make the best of the rest of his life._

Dean looked at her, then asked her something that was bothering him.

"How did you find out?"

Jessica looked at Dean with nothing but hatred in her eyes. If one could kill with only a look, Dean would be dead.

"I was the one that found them here."

A flash a guilt passed Dean's eyes through the contempt that he was showing. He remembered that he didn't want Sammy to see what he did in that room. He knew that Sam and Jessica were around the same age, and no kid should have seen that room. But then after thinking about it, Dean realized that he didn't care who else saw the room as long as Sam didn't. And that showed on his face.

"Do you know what it was like," Jessica stained more under Dean. "to find him like that? All of them."

Dean couldn't help one corner of his mouth curling up.

"Do you know what it was like to find out that your precious brother beat and raped Sam?" Dean retorted.

For the first time, Jessica's brow creased in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh you can't be that dumb. Do you really think that I would just kill them with no reason. Your bastard brother and his cronies attacked Sam. In the worst way possible." Dean closed his eyes for a second and the looked back at her. With his other hand, Dean reached in his jacket and pulled out a cylindrical pipe.

After hearing that her brother had did that, she just couldn't believe it. Her brother would never hurt someone like that. No, she started shaking her head, it's not true.

"Now," Dean holding the pipe by her head. "Since you started this whole fiasco, do you really want to know what happened that night?" Pulling Jessica out of her thoughts. Against better judgment she nodded her head, but it wasn't in the vigorous passion that he had seen earlier, but with dejection.

"Your brother and his friends jumped Sam on his way to the movies," there was nothing but disgust in his voice. "They brought him back here where they," Dean closed his eyes. "raped him." He still could feel everything from that night. The night he didn't do his job. The night of his biggest failure. The night he didn't protect Sammy. Tears pricked the back of Dean's eyes. Jessica noticed and was smart enough to know that what she was seeing was not a show of weakness. That scared her even more.

Jessica wasn't struggling any more, and Dean's grip on her didn't get any more intense. Dean opened his eyes, and for the first time Jessica could see behind the anger that Dean was showing in his eyes was hurt and pain.

"After that," Dean began again. "I showed up. When I saw your brother, he said that they wanted to play piñata. And here is the stick that they wanted to use." Dean backed up a little and brought the pipe in her line of sight. "When they brought out what they wanted to use for a piñata that's when Hell reigned down on those sons of bitches, and my wrath followed. I played piñata, alright." contempt clearly laces his speech. "They just didn't like my version of it. Their plan was hoisting my baby brother in the air and beating the shit out of him with this lead pipe. They were laughing. It was funny to them. Killing my baby brother was funny to them. Of course they didn't know he was my brother. Not at first. They thought he was just some kid they grabbed off the street. Some loner nobody would miss so who gave a fuck if they beat him to death for shits and giggles."

Dean steps further back from Jessica, but she is so scared that she doesn't move.

"It took four years to get Sammy where he is now," there was no venom in Dean's talk. "And I'm still working with him. And in one freaking night you destroyed it." Dean gripping the pipe just as tightly as he did that night. "So much, I want to kill you for what you did. Your Dad got the message. Why couldn't you?"

_0000_0000_0000_0000_000_

Sam's struggling against the ropes. Josh is standing over Sam with the two other guys that Sam had fought earlier.

"Sean, help me with this," Josh said to one of the guys. "Stop struggling."

Josh and Sean were trying to get Sam's tied hand off the hook, but it was becoming close to impossible because Sam hadn't stop moving since they walked over to him. It was getting on Josh's nerves more and more. While Sam was bucking and kicking against the ropes and his captures, he kicked Josh in the ankle, hard. Josh knelt down to Sam, gripped his jaw and forced Sam to look at him.

"Stop struggling or I will give you something to struggle for." Josh looked Sam up and down. Sam shuddered under the stare, but otherwise didn't show any fear. In fact, he wasn't scared at all. For the moment, Sam stopped struggling and let Josh and Sean take his tied hands off the hook they were tied to. Once Sam's hands were off the hook and lowered, Sam couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips from the stain of his shoulders. Now Sam struggle went from trying to get off the hook to getting the ropes off of his wrists.

"Help me stand him up," Josh said.

He and Sean stood him up. Josh looked at Sam. He was just a little shorter than Sam, but not by much. They both stared at each other. Both daring the other to make their move. Then the move was made. Josh went to grab Sam to take him out of the garage when Hell broke loose. Sam backed away from the touch. This upset Josh on a whole new level. Josh gripped the sides of Sam's head and neck.

"You know I'm getting tired of you." Josh said. "Jessica seems to think that you didn't have anything to do with my brother's death." Josh again looked Sam up and down. Sam's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Jonathan," Josh said.

Sam face went pale. It was a name he didn't want to hear again. The one that initiated the attack in the first place.

"But you know I don't believe it. I believe the both of you, you and your brother killed Jonathan."

Sam went deep down for what he was going to do next. It was something he had never did before but he knew that it was the only way to get Josh off of him. Sam took a deep breath, calmed his nerves and spat in Josh's face. He then turned and swung his tied up hands at Sean. The other man fell straight to the floor. It got Josh to let him go but he recovered a lot faster than Sam had thought. Sam looked around the room for anything that could cut his bonds. He saw where it was and froze. Josh gripped the back of Sam's shirt and made Sam face him.

"You know, I'm getting about tired of you. Someone needs to teach you some respect." Josh pushed Sam over to the third guy in the room. Sam thought that it would be only the two that he was going to mostly be fighting, then the third one, Jeff, grabbed Sam's arms and kneed him in the groin. The fight left Sam when that pain hit. Jeff pushed Sam to where he was bent over the workbench. Panic set in Sam again, but this time he used his panic for him. He was where he never wanted to be, but the only place he could be to break his bonds. The last time he was over this dreaded bench he was too short to fully reach it, but he knew it was there. Pete was holding his hands on that side of the table. And to keep him in place, Sam felt it then. He knew it was still there so while still in pain from the hit to his groin, Sam reached over until he found what he was looking for. He really wasn't paying attention to what was happening around him. He didn't see Josh walk behind him. Jeff walked over to Josh. Sam, in his own mind, found what he was looking for and began moving his hands. On the side of the wooden workbench was a serrated utility knife. A smirk came across his face. He was so happy that he had gotten taller than he was four years ago. After a few slides of his wrist, one of the ropes cut loose just enough to get Sam to pull his arms apart. His victory was short lived when he was brought back to his surroundings. He felt someone reach around him and pop the button on his pants.

Sam closed his eyes tight. Panic and rage filled his body. When he felt the hand on the small of his back that is when Sam totally lost it. And for the first time since Jessica left, he made a noise that surprised the whole room. It was a guttural scream that caught the two guys by surprise. He stood straight up and faced his molesters with a speed that surprised them. He grabbed both of their heads and banged them together. It wasn't hard enough to kill them but just hard enough to stun them. Sam went on the attack.

_0000_-0000_0000_)0000_0000_

Dean wasn't looking at Jessica any more. He was looking down at the pipe in his hand. He wasn't standing in front of her either. Jessica looked over at the door and then back at Dean. Wondering, could she make it to the door and away from Dean. She began to move away from the wall. Dean swung the pipe with utmost precision and hitting the wall next to her head.

"If you value what little moments of your life you have left," Dean said not looking at her. "You will not move from this spot."

"What do you think you're going to do?"

"You know I've been debating that. I was brought up that you do not hit a woman. But you are slowly making me change my views on that issue."

Jessica was at a lost for words. She didn't know what to say after that. Would he really hit her. Surly he jest.

"Don't tempt me," Dean said. Jessica really begins to believe that there is something totally different with both brothers. "You think very loudly."

"Screw you, Dean Winchester!"

Dean looked at Jessica, pinned on the wall with fear.

"Would you like to hear a little story about this pipe?"

Jessica shook her head. Dean totally ignoring her response.

"This little baby, here," Dean said looking down at the pipe. He then raised his gaze so that he was looking at Jessica. When he said this next part he wanted to see the pain and anguish in her eyes. "This the very pipe that took out that bastard of a brother of yours and his friends."

Pain. Hurt. Anger. Confusion. All these emotions were rising up in Jessica. She screamed and lunged at Dean. He reached up and gripped her by her neck and slammed her back against the wall. Again he was leaning on her against the wall.

"I'm gonna kill you, you sonofabitch," Jessica screamed as loud as she could being that she couldn't really take a deep breath.

"That's funny," Dean said with a small smile on his face. "I was going to do the exact same thing."

Dean gripped the pipe tighter in his hand. Brought it up slightly over his head ready to bring it down on her head.

"DEAN!"

**TBC**

****

**Many hugs and kisses to you all! :)**

**Please read and review! :)**

_Check out my Mandancie Facebook page. Tell me what you think of my stories, leave a prompt that you would like me to write, or just say hello! :)_


	7. Fathers and Sons

**Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah. I know. I still don't own them. But I have to say that it sure is fun to play with them! :) Thanks Eric Kripke**

**To an awesome beta. Thank you AlElizabeth!**

**A/N: I want to the time to thank all the Guests that have reviewed my story. I really do appreciate you taking the time to read it. I am really happy that you like my story. And I hope you continue to enjoy it.**

**Well with that done, here is chapter 7.**

**Chapter 7: Fathers and Sons**

Bobby walked into his house after driving all night. He had been working a case with Rufus for the past three days. It had been complete hell. Having to hear Rufus bickering about every part of the case. Well, at least the ride home was peaceful. Bobby's house phone rang as soon as he stepped over the threshold and he gave a long-suffering sigh. Bobby walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone, irritated. Couldn't they give him five freakin' minutes to sit down?

"Yeah," Bobby growled.

" _Finish your case?"_

"Johnny," Bobby said, slightly surprised. "It's done. Wish I could have had you back me up instead of that idjit, Rufus. Bastard complained the entire time."

" _Feel up to some company?"_ John asked. _"I hit a dead end and I need a friendly bed and some good coffee."_

"Yeah, sure. Come on. Is Dean with you?"

" _I don't want to talk about it."_

"John, you have to stop being like this. Where's Dean?"

" _Do you even have to ask."_

"California. Have you even talked to Sam?"

" _Sam made his choice."_

"Sam went to school," Bobby said. "He still wants you."

" _Yeah, well. Why doesn't he pick up the phone and tell me that himself?"_

"Probably because he's hoping you would call him."

" _Could we change the subject, please. Can I stay for a while?"_

"My door is always open for you. You know that. The door will be unlocked."

Bobby hung up the phone. He took off his cap and scrubbed his hand over his head and down his face.

"Damn idjit."

Bobby put the phone back on the receiver and walked towards the stairs. He knew when he woke up he was going to have to deal with a very grumpy Winchester. He walked passed his study and looked at his computer. He usually checks his emails before he goes to bed, but tonight he was just too tired after having to deal with Rufus and now John. He just didn't have the strength. So he decided for the first time ever he would leave his emails for the morning and he would get some much needed sleep. Bobby would later find out that he should have followed his routine like always. Bobby walked upstairs leaving the kitchen light on for his soon-to-be-guest and he went to bed.

_0000_00000_00000_00000_00000_00000_

" _Dean!"_

Dean's arm stopped in mid-swing. He put his head down.

"We had a deal, Grant." Dean turned around and looked at the owner of the garage.

"Yes, I know we had a deal. And I kept up with my end of the bargain. What are you doing here?"

Dean stepped aside. His hand still on Jessica's collar.

"Why don't you ask your daughter why I am here?"

Grant looked over at his daughter. He saw the blood on her shirt.

"What did you do to my daughter?!" Grant exclaimed, worried for his only surviving child.

"I didn't do anything to your daughter," Dean said looking at Grant. "Yet."

Grant looked at the pipe in Dean's hand. His heart dropped in his stomach. Is that the pipe, he wondered. Is that the dreaded pipe that took his son's life? Rage was building up in the pit of his stomach. He kept to his deal. Grant didn't call the cops with what he found out. He kept his mouth shut. Even though he knew who killed his son and his friends, he kept his bargain. But here was Dean with his hands on his daughter. He couldn't have that. No matter what she did.

"I can't have you here," Grant said. "You didn't keep your word."

"I would've kept my word if your daughter didn't take my brother," Dean retorted. "I want Sam."

There was a loud guttural scream that came from the back. Dean knew instantly that was his baby brother. Dean took off for the back of the garage. Jessica and Grant no longer Dean's priority. When Dean got to the back room, what he saw no words could describe. Sam was over some poor soul hitting them with bloody fists. Sam was not letting up. And by the looks of it the guy had long since stopped blocking the blows. Dean was at Sam's side instantly trying to pull his brother off of the guy. Dean got behind Sam and gripped around his neck and under his shoulder. It was a lot easier than before since Dean was standing over Sam. Once Dean got his arms in position to pull Sam off of the guy, Sam reached up not know who was holding him reached up and tried to pull them over his shoulder. Dean smirked a little, knowing that he taught him that move, grounded his feet and placed his weight on Sam's back so that he couldn't move him. Dean, when Sam was in this state would usually try to calm Sam down by soothingly talk to him. But Dean was now on a mission to get Sam off of the guy before he killed him. He knew that by not talking Sam would think that he still needed to defend himself, but Dean could always handle baby brother in his tantrum stage. And to keep his heart from breaking, that is how Dean saw it. Sam was having a tantrum and he needed to stop. He worried about Sam's mental state once he got him off of the guy.

Grant walked to the back with Jessica beside him. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Dean pulled Sam off of the guy and was falling back against the wall. Sam was screaming and thrashing trying to get free from the hold. Grant surveyed the room and saw that it looked no different than that night from the surveillance camera. Three bodies were sprawled out on the floor. But what was different was that there was grunts of pain and moaning that was coming from them. Grant then looked over at the brothers.

Dean was holding Sam back with all of his strength. Sam was flailing and kicking so much that Dean had to wrap his legs around Sam's to get him to stop. He had to tighten his hold around his neck and shoulder with his other arm around his chest to hold him still. The tighter he held Sam the more Sam tried to get loose.

"Sammy," Dean soothed in his ear. "Sam, I'm here."

Sam's flailing lessened but didn't stop. Dean continued to calmly talk to Sam. Quiet enough that only Sam could hear him. Jessica looked on while Grant was tending to the boys on the ground. Sean was sitting up with his back to the workbench. Jeff was laid next to Sean. Josh, poor soul, was the worst. He was the one that Sam was on when they all got back there. Josh was breathing but was really badly off. Jessica slowly walked towards Sam and Dean.

Dean's only priority was in his arms. He continued talking to Sam. He looked up and saw Jessica moving towards them. With one look from him she stopped where she stood. Jessica walked over to Sean and Jeff.

"What the hell happened?!" Jessica ranted. "He was tied up." Dean looked over there at them, but continued soothing his brother.

"Josh...got mad...at him...," groaned Sean. "...picked him up...took him to the workbench..." Sean started coughing. His side felt like it was on fire. It hurt so much to breathe.

"Why are his pants unbuttoned?" Jessica had venom in her voice. Grant and Dean didn't miss that question either. Grant looked over at the brothers. Dean, still struggling with Sam to calm down, he looks over Sam's shoulder and sees that indeed his pants were unbuttoned and his zipper was half way down. The rage that was boiling in Dean was unmeasurable. One would wonder how he could still speak calmly to his brother while he was raging underneath.

They tried it again; Dean thought, bile rising up his throat. "Baby brother, I'm here. Come back to me."

Grant looks under his workbench and sees something that he knew would turn the tides to this situation that had again found his family. He reached under the table and pulled out the .38 revolver that he kept there and stood up and faced the brothers against the wall.

_0000_0000_0000_000_0000_00_

John pulled his truck in the Salvage yard and parked where he usually did. He got out and walked in the back door. He was exhausted. He'd been driving for what felt like two days straight. All he wanted was to just find a bed and close his eyes. But he knew he still had work to do. One of the reasons he wanted to stop here was because Bobby had a computer and he could use it. Yeah, most of the time he would go to the library but he only had a limited time there to use the computers. With what he had to research he needed more time.

John grudgingly walked over to the computer desk and turned on the monitor. He knew that Bobby never turned off the desktop so that he could easily get on and check if any one sent him messages.

When the computer came on, John saw that Bobby had left his email page up. He looked it over and saw that he was getting continual messages from Sam. A pain hit John's heart when he saw that Sam was still in contact with Bobby. John read some of the emails. Some of them describing that he was having fun in college, that Dean was coming by ever so often. Things about school.

John clicked one email and it almost broke his heart to pieces. This particular email talked about his classes but at the end Sam asked about 'his dad'.

" _Please tell Dad I'm sorry. Please ask him not to be mad at me."_

John couldn't help but feel like an utter jackass the way he handled things when Sam told him he wanted to go to college. He hated that argument. He hated everything about it. And what hurt more was the scared look on Sam's face when he was yelling. Sam was genuinely afraid of him. Now there have been many arguments in the past, but never has he remember seeing Sam that fearful of him. Now that John has calmed down, he's beginning to suspect that something has happened that his sons aren't telling him.

Bobby heard footsteps in his kitchen and he knew that John had made it to his house. As tired as he was, he knew he would not be able to sleep until he let John know that he was awake. Bobby headed downstairs and saw that John had made his way to his computer.

"I see you made it in one piece," Bobby walked into the study where John was on the computer.

"Yeah," John said still looking at the second to last email that was just sent. "I just got here."

John tore his eyes away from the screen and looked at his old friend for a second.

"Bobby," John said. "Do you think that the boys would keep something from me?"

"It's possible, why?" John looked almost hurt by that admission. "Sorry Johnny, but there are many things that they keep from you. You have got to control your temper. Especially when it comes to your youngest."

John looked like a whipped puppy. Bobby looked at John and just shook his head.

"You know I've always wondered where Sam could got those puppy-dog eyes from. I always thought it was from Mary." John smirked and Bobby and shook his head. "Look John, there is bound to be a lot of things that those boys didn't tell you."

John sat back in the chair. Bobby was right, he thought. He couldn't really get mad at them if they had secrets. John began to calm down when another email popped up.

_One email from Sam._

"Well speak of the devil," John said looking at the screen again. "Sam just emailed you again."

Bobby walked out of the study and into the kitchen to make some coffee. "Well, why don't you go ahead and open it and see what the boy wants?"

John opened up the email and began to read. It didn't take long for is calm demeanour to change to anger and fear.

"DAMMIT!" Bobby heard from the study. He left the coffee alone and rushed into the study to see John at his abandoned bag on the couch checking his weapons.

"Johnny," Bobby said. "What's going on?"

"Damn Dean and his code words," John said talking mostly to himself making sure that his revolver was loaded before going to his shotgun. "Those stupid cartoons."

_John is sitting at the motel table with paper scattered everywhere. Three year old Sam and a-just-turned-eight year old Dean are sitting on the couch watching 'Scooby-Doo.' John's looking over research for the next case he's on. John notices that Dean keeps looking between him and his baby brother. John couldn't help but smile at that. He had earlier told his son's to stay on the couch and watch television while he worked. In the middle of the cartoon is when John noticed that Dean wanted to say something._

" _Hey, Dean-o," John said not looking up from his papers._

" _Yes sir," Dean said._

_John put the papers down that he had in his hands and looked over at his sons._

" _What's on you mind?" John asked moving his chair out from underneath the table._

" _Nothing, Dad," Dean said trying to keep his attention on the cartoon._

" _Come here, Dean," John said._

_Dean walked over to John and stood in front of him._

" _What's on your mind?" John asked again._

" _Well, Dad, when you leave you always tell me that if you call that you would ring once and then call right back."_

" _Yeah," John said. "That's so you would know it was me."_

" _Yeah, but what if you need to make sure it's us?"_

_John looked puzzled. "I would know it's you."_

" _No Dad, you wouldn't." Dean said shaking his head. "You wouldn't see us. We need are own code words that way when you call you would know it's us. Me and Sammy already started doing it so if we get separated that he would know it's me."_

_Sam got up off the couch at the sound of his name and walked over towards Dean and stood beside him. John looked at Sam and smiled. He picked his youngest up and put him on his lap._

" _Alright Dean," John said putting his arm around Sam. "What do you want your code name to be?"_

_Dean had the biggest grin on his face. "I'm Batman and Sammy could be Robin."_

" _No," Sam said. "No like Robin."_

" _But Sammy," Dean said to Sam. "You have to be Robin if I'm going to be Batman."_

" _Don't like Robin."_

" _Well, Sammy," John said looking at his youngest that was on his lap. "What do you want your code name to be."_

_Sam lifted his head off John's shoulder and started thinking. He looked at his dad and then to his big brother and smiled. Dean rolled his eyes._

" _Lion-O!" Sam nearly jumped off John's lap he said with so much energy. Dean just shook his head._

_John laughed at his sons. Batman and Lion-O._

" _Okay," laughed John. "Batman and Lion-O. When I call," John said looking at Dean. "I will ask who you are and you give me your code name, alright."_

_Dean nodded and started smiling at his little brother who was now bouncing on their dad's lap._

" _Alright," John looked at his watch. "You boys ready to eat?"_

_Sam and Dean nodded vigorously. John stood up with Sam still in his arms. Dean got their coats and they all left the motel to go to dinner._

Bobby walked over to John.

"John what's going on?"

"Someone took Sammy," John said loading his shotgun.

Bobby walked over to the computer to read the email.

" _Hey Uncle Bobby, It's Dean. I couldn't call. Call Dad and tell him Lion-O's in trouble. Batman's going to get him. Meet Batman here;"_ there was an attachment to the email. Bobby clicked on it and a picture of a map with a red marker showed up.

"Batman and Lion-O?"

"Dean insisted that they had code names so that I would know it was them when I left them alone."

John walked over to the screen after he finished packing back up his weapons. He saw where the map was. Under the picture of the map there was a small message. 'Lion-O Here'

John walked out of the study and out the door. There was one thing on his mind. His boys.

"John," Bobby called out.

"I've got to get my boys."

"Give me two minutes, and I can come with you."

"No," John said walking back in the study. "Stay here. Just in case Dean calls. If he does tell him I'm on my way."

With that, John walked out of the house got in his truck and headed for his boys.

_00000_0000_-0000_-0000_0000_-0000_

Jessica asked again, "Why are his pants unbuttoned?" Not paying attention to her dad, who was now standing behind her.

Grant stood there with his gun on Sam and Dean. Dean looked at Grant. Dean hated that he had Sam in his arms this way. He couldn't get in front of his baby brother. And the way they were on the floor Dean couldn't move unless Sam got up first.

Jessica moved closer to Jeff and Sean.

"He was tied up," Jessica's voice full of venom. "He wasn't going anywhere. All you bastards had to do was to. Keep. Him. Tied. Up!" Jessica gradually got louder and louder. "Now how did he get untied?!"

Jeff looked at Jessica in pure contempt. He never did like that girl.

"He cut his ropes," Jeff said as calmly as he could seeing how he was still in pain from the beating he endured from Sam.

"How did he cut his ropes?"

"The workbench."

"And why pray tell was he over the workbench?"

"Josh was going to teach that bastard some respect."

Dean closed his eyes and gripped Sam tighter. He had to ground himself because if he didn't that gun pointed at him be damned. Dean was seeing red. Slowly, Sam stopped struggling in Dean's arms. That brought Dean back to Sam. He tore himself from what was happening to what he needed to deal with; Sam.

Jessica looked over at Sam and Dean. She began to realize that she may have had it all wrong. That's when she saw that her Dad had a gun on them.

"Dad," Jessica said. "Dad what are you doing?"

"I finally have him," Grant said. "And he's not getting away again."

**TBC**

****

**Many hugs and kisses**

**Mandancie :)**

_Please check out my Mandancie page on Facebook. Leave requests, ask questions, or just say hi, I would love to meet you all! :)_


	8. Tables Turned

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

**A special thanks to _AlElizabeth_ for beta'ing my story! :) **

**Chapter 8: Tables Turned**

"...yeah," Grant was talking on the phone, his gun still trained on Sam and Dean. "How soon can you get here? Yeah... bring your brothers as well... yeah, I got'em... I know, finally... See you in a few minutes."

Grant closed the phone and put it back in his pocket.

"You have no idea how much I wanted you," Grant's chilling voice pieced Dean to the core.

"Dad," Jessica walked over to her father, "What are you doing?"

Grant looked at his daughter and cupped her face, smiling sweetly at her. "Oh baby, thank you. You don't know how much I wanted to get these bastards for what they did to your brother. Carlos didn't deserve to die like that."

Dean hated the fact that now Grant had the upper hand. He wanted to get to the gun that was pointed at Sam, but because Sam was leaning on his chest, Dean couldn't move. Sam stirred in his arms and Dean tightened his grip.

"It's alright, Sammy," Dean said in a soothing tone, his tone calmer than what he truly felt.

Sam began to moan in his brother's arms. Dean knew he was coming out of his panic attack. Dean felt Sam gripping his pant leg.

"It's alright, Sammy," Dean whispered. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"D'n," Sam turned his head into the crook of Dean's neck.

"I'm right here."

The distinct sounds of car doors closing made Dean look up. He saw the smirk come across Grant's face. Dean knew that whatever was going to happen next, it was not going to be good.

"Grant."

"Back here!" Grant called out. "Come on!"

Dean watched helplessly as three men walked into the backroom. Dean's hands tightened around his baby brother, and Sam, still not aware of what was going on around him, felt his brother's tension and instantly leaned further into Dean.

"Glad you could make it," Grant said shaking one of the guy's hands.  
"So this is them?" the first guy asked.

"Yeah," Grant said turning back to Sam and Dean. "I told you sooner or later, Jason."

"Yeah, you did. I guess it was worth the wait."

Jason looked around and saw the two boys leaning up against the wall and the one unconscious on the floor. "What happened here?"

"Don't know," Grant answered. "But knowing that we are going to finish this, is all I care about."

Dean noticed that the other two men still haven't opened their mouths to say anything. They just stood there and stared at him and Sam. Being under their scrutiny, made Dean feel more than uncomfortable.

"Jessica," Grant called out. "I want you to take these boys to the hospital."

"But Daddy," Jessica cried out. "They-"

"I know," Grant answered. "But it's time for Daddy to take care of this." Grant knew that Steven and Derrick, the two guys standing in front of Dean and Sam, would make sure that nothing happened. Grant was able to avert his attention to his daughter. "You've done wonderfully getting these two killers back here to face justice. I'm very proud of you. But now is the time for the adults to take over." He spoke to his daughter sweetly, cupping her face.

"But Daddy," Jessica protested. She was beginning to see that maybe this was a mistake. Her father putting a fingertip on her lips to keep her from talking stopped her protest.

"No buts. Do as I say," Grant pulled his daughter close and kissed her on the forehead.

Jessica looked at her father and knew it was pointless to argue anymore about it. So she walked over to Seth and Jeff and helped them to stand up, while Jason picked Josh off of the floor and carried him to the car. She turned back and looked at Dean. Their eyes met and in that split second she saw nothing but pure anger and disdain coming from him. Some part of her was happy that he was getting what he deserved, but there was a small part of her that was wondering was it all worth it? Maybe. Maybe not. Right now, she didn't really care. She got in the car and drove off.

Jason walked back and stood next to Grant.

"Four years," Jason said.

"Yeah," Grant smiled. "But we finally have them where we wan them." He looked over at the brothers. "This is going to be fun."

Grant walked over to the Winchesters.

"You know," Dean said. "Whatever you're thinking about doing, you better re-think it."

Grant knelt down next to Dean.

"Dean," Grant was real close to Dean's ear. "You are in no position to make demands." His voice was calm and collected.

"What do you want then?" Dean looked at Grant.

"My son is dead. You beat my son. Do you know how that felt? Well, you're about to feel it now."

Grant nodded his head, and within moments Jason and Derrick advanced on Sam and Dean and began to pry Dean's arm from around his brother. Once the extra hands touched Sam, both Sam and Dean began to fight against them. Punches were thrown. Feet were kicking. Dean couldn't really move with Sam in front of him, but he was trying his best to keep Sam in his arms. The tussle continued until a shot rang out. The next thing Dean knew there was a gun pressed up against his neck.

"Let your brother go," ordered Grant.

Dean feeling the hot barrel of the gun burning his neck and slowly raised his hands away from his brother. Grant looked at Jason and Derrick, nodding. They both reached down and grabbed Sam away from Dean.

"No!" Sam screamed. "Dean!"

They pulled Sam to the middle of the room, each man gripping one arm.

"Turn him around. I want his brother to see this," Grant ordered.

Sam struggled as they turned him around, but with a punch to the solar plexus from Jason, Sam's struggling stopped dead in its tracks. Sam was gasping for air. Dean was seething on the floor not being able to do anything to help his baby brother. Dean wanted to get up when the guy punched Sam in the gut, but the gun pressed further into his neck made him stay glued to the floor.

"Let him go," Dean growled.

"You see," Grant hit Dean on the side of the head with the barrel of the gun. "You are in no position to give orders. Come here, Steven."

The third man walked into view of Dean while Grant pulled the infamous pipe out.

"Now fellas," Grant said holding the pipe out. "This is the instrument used killed our boys."

Sam looked at the pipe and then at his brother. Dean was looking at Grant with disgust.

"Now," Grant started again. "We've all watched the surveillance disk of what happened? And we all know what it felt like to see our boys get beaten like that."

"I couldn't sleep for weeks after looking at it," Derrick said still holding on to Sam's arm.

"Yes," Grant looked at Dean. "Well, now that the tables are turned in our favor, it's time for Dean here to feel that same way. So Steven, why don't you do the honors?"

Grant held out the pipe and Steven took it. He slowly walked over to Sam. Panic began to rise up in Sam. He looked from the pipe to his brother, who was still pinned to the floor at gunpoint.

"No no no no no," Sam tried to back away, but couldn't get far with the other two men holding his arms. "Stay away from me."

"Leave him alone!" Dean yelled from the floor.

"Now Dean," Grant calm voice came through Sam's cries of protest. "You knew this was going to happen. You are going to pay for what you did to our sons."

"And what about what they did to Sammy?" Dean sneered, looking Grant in his eyes. "Your precious sons raped him."

Before Grant could respond to what Dean said, a grunt caught their attention. Both Dean and Grant looked over and saw Steven doubled over holding his stomach and Sam trying to get free of his captors.

Dean took this moment to try and get up, but the second he moved Grant grabbed hold of his hair and yanked him back against the wall. Dean recovered quickly from that when he saw Grant bring the gun back up towards his head. He struggled with Grant, trying to get away from the weapon. He managed to push Grant's arm down so at least it wasn't pointed at his head… And the gun went off.

At the sound of the blast from the gun everything stopped in the room. Everyone stopped struggling. Sam and Dean looked at each other. Sam could see the pain in his big brother's eyes.

Grant stood up. Dean slid down the wall into a sitting position, holding his stomach, looking at Sam. Sam tried to get to his big brother, but Jason and Derrick were still holding him.

"Dean!" Sam shouted, trying to pull his arms away from his captors. "DEAN!"

"Let him go," Dean whispered.

Dean was fighting against unconsciousness. He knew he had to stay awake for Sam, but the darkness was claiming him.

Grant walked over to Sam and stood in front of him. Sam tried to look around him so that he could see Dean, but Grant grabbed hold of his chin and forcefully made him look at him. Sam tried to get out of the grip, but couldn't.

"You know," Grant's voice was calm. "You and your brother should have never set foot in this town. Everything was going wonderful before you came. My boy and his friends were good kids. Yeah, they got into a couple of scrapes, but they were good boys."

Sam's brow creased. Scrapes. How could he call what they did the me, scrapes? Sam thought.

"They jumped me." Sam grunted out. "I didn't do anything to them."

"Just boys being boys."

Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. After everything he went through. All the tests. All the medication. The scares. And the only reason was because 'boys will be boys.' Sam's arms went limp. He was no longer struggling to get loose. His eyes drooped. He was barely seeing anyone around him.

Dean looked up at his brother and saw him go limp. He knew what was going to happen next was not going to be good, but he couldn't get the strength to get up and stop him.

"Sam," Dean's voice was low and tired, but he knew he had to get through to his baby brother. "Sammy."

Once Sam's arms went limp both men holding Sam looked at the boy in between them. They were actually at a loss as to why he just stopped struggling.

Dean knew Sam was waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. And that opportunity presented itself when Derrick and Jason loosened their grip on Sam's arms.

Sam looked at the men standing around him. Blocking his view of his brother. Then in the instant he couldn't see Dean, his mind wasn't in the present anymore. Looking at the fathers of the boys who had attacked him, he was seeing older version of his attackers. Sam's legs collapsed from under him. He dropped instantly catching all of them by surprise.

"Sam," Dean tried to get his voice louder, but the pain was just too much. "I'm right here, Sammy. You're not there anymore. I... you have to find me." Dean knew changing it up was not going to be good, but since he couldn't move to get into Sam's line of sight, he had to compromise.

_It had been three weeks since they left that town. It was actually the first time since that dreaded night that Sam was left alone. Dean didn't want to, but they needed something to eat and Sam insisted. When Dean got back to the motel he's heart dropped. At first glance, he didn't see Sam anywhere. The first thing that popped in his head was that Sam must have followed him and gotten lost. At a closer inspection he saw the curly top of his baby brother's head on the other side of the bed. Dean walked over to Sam and knelt down beside him._

_"Sam." Dean reached out to his brother._

_Sam recoiled back as if being burned. A low moan came from Sam. Dean just looked at his brother. He reached for him again. This time Sam flailed back, screaming._

_"NO! STOP PLEASE!" Sam crawled backwards like a crab to the far wall till his was in the corner._

_Dean, sitting back on his heels, looked at his brother. Sam eyes were glassy. He was looking but not seeing._

_"Dean," Sam whispered out. "Dean where are you?"_

_Dean's heart just broke._

_"I'm right here, Sammy."_

_"D'n please, AAAHHHH," Sam's head went back into the corner._

_Dean figured Sam was reliving the attack. Slowly he got closer to Sam._

_"Sammy," He whispered out. "Sammy, I'm right here."_

_Sam's body went rigid and a strain scream escaped his lips._

_"Sammy," Dean got in front of Sam and cupped his face. "I'm right here, Sammy. Look at me."_

_Sam eyes lifted up and looked at his brother. It was becoming clear in Sam's eyes. He looked up to see his big brother looking down at him. Sam reached and wrapped his arms around Dean's neck. Dean pulled his baby brother close to his chest, and wrapped his arms around him. Sam was shaking in his arms._

_"I'm right here, little brother." Dean soothed._

_A lone moan came from Sam._

_"I'm scared, D'n," Sam moaned in Dean's neck._

_"I know," Dean rocked back and forth._

Dean knew that Sam's reason for going limp was he was re-living the rape. He hated that he couldn't get to his brother's side, but he was worried what would happen when the screaming started.

"Pick him up," Grant said.

"Don't touch him!" Dean cried out.

Grant turned and faced Dean. He walked up to Dean and knelt down in front of him.

Still looking at Dean, Grant ordered, "Pick him up."

Jason and Derrick reached down and gripped Sam's arms. They noticed that there was no fight in the boy anymore. They looked at each other and then went to lift up Sam. There was no resistance.

"Stand up," Jason growled.

Sam wasn't listening. Because of the dead weight, Sam was a lot heavier than he was before.

"Put him over the table," Derrick said trying to holding Sam up.

They dragged Sam over to the workbench. Jason laid Sam over the table. A small moan escaped Sam's lips. Dean heard it and knew that since he was over that dreaded table things weren't going to go well.

"Sammy."

"D'n." Sam moaned out.

"I'm here, Sammy." Dean looked over at Sam and saw his baby brother starting to shake.

Dean looked up at Grant.

"Take him off the table," Dean weakly pleaded. "He's got Post-Traumatic Stress and that's not helping. Please."

_0000_000_000_000_000_

A pair of lights came up on the garage. Surprisingly, the engine was quiet. Slowly the man got out of the truck and headed into the garage. Slowly he walked inside. He saw red in the corner of his eye and walked over towards the sink. A bloodstained towel had been thrown carelessly over the basin. He picked it up and looked at it. He heard mumbling coming from the back of the garage, and headed back there.

"Take him off the table."

He knew that voice and followed it. When he got to the back, what he saw shocked and angered him. His oldest was sitting on the floor bleeding and his youngest was bent over a workbench. He pulled out his shotgun, and walked in the room.

"What ever you have going on," John said pointing his shotgun at the men holding his youngest over the table. "Your had better stop now before I start getting really angry."

**TBC**

**A/N: To everyone that has stuck with me and not given up on me with this story; Thank you very much! :)**

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think of it! :)**

**Many hugs and kisses to you all!**

**Mandancie :)**

**Please follow my Mandancie page on Facebook! :)**


	9. Dad Learns the Truth

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story.**

**A/N: I know it has been a long time since I've worked on this story, and I am so sorry for the long wait. I just had a major writer's block with it. I hope you enjoy the update and know that I am working on the next chapter and is hoping to have it up in a few days. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Warnings: Please see first chapter for warnings. Please take them serious. Implied rape in this chapter. Nothing Graphic.**

**Chapter 9: Dad Learns the Truth**

Grant turned around once he heard the intruder's voice. When he saw that the threatening man had a shotgun trained on Derrick and Jason, he figured this person was somebody to Dean and Sam. Grant knew he would have to level the playing field. Quick as he could, he wrapped his arm around Dean's neck and pointed the gun at the young man's head.

Sam, still being pinned on the table, didn't notice anything around him. The fight had left him. He was no longer struggling. He was in his own mind. All he could think about was the hurt, the pain. His shoulders felt tired from being pulled across the table, while Jonathan had his turn. All Sam wanted was to be home. He wanted his brother. But Dean wasn't here. He was with his friends. Friends that he cared more about than him. The more he felt like he was being torn in two and the pressure of the knife on his throat, all that he could think of was that it was all his fault. If he were more awesome around Dean, he would not have been left behind. Dean would not be ashamed of him. But now after this, Dean will never look at him the same again.

"Let them go," John said. His voice was not loud.

"That all depends," Grant said. "Who are you?"

"I'm their father."

"Really," Grant said, a glimmer of joy in his eyes. "Well that makes everything so much better. Derrick, take his gun."

Derrick looked at Grant like he's gone mad. "He's pointing a 12-gauge at me. I'm not going near him."

"He's not going to risk his sons' lives. He won't shoot."

John looked from Grant to Derrick, not saying a word. John just waited. It already took a lot from him not to come in gun blazing. He didn't like what he was seeing. Dean sitting on the floor holding his stomach with blood coming through his fingers. He was conscious, but John knew that a gut wound, thought it won't kill right away, was still dangerous. His 'Batman' was hurt but not dead. But what had him more than angry was the condition of his baby. Sam was bent over a workbench muttering quietly, incoherently. Even with the talking, John could hear what Sam was saying and he didn't like it. Not one bit. But he knew he had to get these men away from his son. Luckily, only one had a gun. And that gun was on Dean and not Sam.

Derrick slowly made his way closer to John. John just looked at him waiting.

Just one more step, John thought.

Derrick got closer and he saw a small smirk on John's face. Derrick was about to back up, but before he did, John pulled the trigger. Derrick's body flew back from the impact of the bullet landing on the side of Sam and Jason. The other three had the state of shock on their faces.

Looking at Jason, John slowly walked closer. "It would be in your best interest to get away from my son."

"HEY!" Grant yelled. "I'm still in control here!"

"Dean," John said calmly still looking at the man standing behind Sam. "I know what you're doing. You can stop. I have Lion-O."

A small smirk was on Dean's face. Dean noticed earlier that Grant didn't have the gun pointing at him. Actually the only reason Dean didn't move was because he didn't know what they would do to Sam if he did, so he stayed put. Now that their Dad was with Sam, Dean could deal with Grant. He quickly reached for the gun, grabbing Grant's wrist. The two men struggled with the weapon.

"Help me," Grant grunted to his friends, struggling to get control of the gun.

Steven came over but during the struggle the gun went off a third time. This time hitting Steven in the leg. He went down like a sack of potatoes.

Grant couldn't believe the struggle he was going through with Dean. He had shot Dean. Why was he still so much stronger still after being wounded? What Grant didn't know what was fueling Dean's energy?

It was bent over the workbench. The only thing that could fuel the rage that was ignited in the belly of each older Winchesters. The despondent sounds coming from their baby. Dean knew Sam was in his own head reliving the rape. What hurt more was that this time Sam relived it; Dean wasn't near him to tell him that it was over. Every so often, Dean would hear the small mutterings of his baby brother calling for him. It broke Dean's heart more, when the fight left Sam's body.

John didn't have much of a fight with Jason. He could tell that the man standing in front of him really didn't have the same fight in him the older hunter had, so over powering him was easy. John wasn't fazed by the sound of the gunshot especially when he heard the scream that came from it. Walking closer to Jason, who was standing behind his youngest son, John could see the man was shaking.

"Step away from him," John said.

Jason took a step back. John walked up to the man and before Jason could even protest John hit him with the butt of the shotgun and he fell to the floor unconscious.

Dean saw out of the corner of his eye that someone was walking up on Sam from behind. While still struggling with the gun, Dean grunted out, "Dad no. Stop."

John looked over at his oldest son and saw the struggle and since he neutralized the threat around his youngest he went to go help his oldest. The struggling stopped when Grant felt the barrel of the shotgun pressed against his back. He dropped the gun and stood up.

Dean slowly got up from the floor, ignoring both his father and Grant, walked over to the workbench where his broken heart was.

"Why do you have my sons?" John asked Grant when he turned to face him.

"Your son killed my boy and his friends," Grants hatred for Dean was laced in his words.

Still looking at Grant, John asked. "Did you kill his son, Dean?"

"Yes."

John knew from that answer there was more to the story that Dean just wasn't telling, but he knew he would have to have a long talk with his sons about coming back to a town that they were in previously. Hunters aren't to ever go back to a town they visited. Especially, small towns were they could easily be remembered and recognized.

"Dean-" John started but his eldest son interrupted.

"Later," Dean strained out. He was leaning over the workbench facing Sam, carding his fingers through Sam's fringe.

"Sammy," Dean whispered. "Come on, Sammy. Look at me."

Sam made no indication that he even noticed his brother. Dean saw the distant look in his brother's eyes and knew he was once again re-living the attack. Dean has witness many ways that his baby brother re-lived the beating and rape. There were times when Sam was physical. Where he would try and fight whomever was around him. Then there were the times when Sam would whimper and cry in the corner calling for Dean. Those always broke Dean's heart because he wasn't there for Sam. He wasn't there to stop the attack from happening. Finally, there was the flashback of how it really happened. Dean speculated that his baby brother was forced to stay silent during the attack. These were always the hardest. When it first happened, it scared Dean so much he was almost tempted to break his promise to Sam and tell their father and 'Uncle' Bobby.

_Sam and Dean were some motel room just trying to get a semblance of normal. Sam wasn't really talking. Actually, Sam hadn't said a word since they came back from the clinic. It had been three weeks since the attack. The bruises on Sam's face were fading. The medication that the doctor put him on was almost finished. There was just one more test that they were waiting for the results on as to the reason they were still in the same town for the past three weeks. While they were there, Dean noticed the subtle changes with Sam. Sam was clingy but still kept a small amount of distance at times. Sam would want to be alone, and then he didn't want Dean to leave his side. Well, this particular day, Sam wanted to be clingy but didn't want Dean too close. So they settled on their own beds watching television. About an hour into the program they were watching, Dean looked over and saw that Sam was asleep. He looked so peaceful just lying there, so Dean turned down the volume on the television and let his baby brother rest. Low moans started to come from Sam's bed. Dean looked over and at first didn't see any signs of distress on his brother, but after sleeping in the same room with his brother, Dean knew that Sam was in the throes of a nightmare. Getting up and going to Sam's bed, sitting on the edge, Dean started to shake his baby brother's shoulders. When Dean touched Sam's shoulder, a low guttural moan escaped Sam's lips._

_"Wake up, baby brother," Dean soothed._

_Sam's eyes shot open. His hazel eyes, glazed over from unshed tears, looked at Dean but were not seeing his brother. Dean looked at his brother and saw nothing but fear in Sam's eyes._

_"Sammy," Dean said. "Come on, it's me. Wake up for me."_

_"D'n," Sam's voice was low. He wasn't shaking anymore. "Help me, D'n. Make them stop. There h'rt'n me. Bad."_

_Dean's heart broke listening to the low mantra that was coming from his brother. He reached under Sam's armpits and lifted the small boy to his chest and just held him. Sam was completely limp in his brother's arms._

_Dean just held Sam until the flashback ended. After a short while of just Dean sitting on the bed holding his brother, Sam started to come back. The first thing that Sam noticed was that he couldn't move. Panic rose up in Sam. He couldn't move. Dean. Where was Dean? He can't move. The next thing Sam felt were the hands on his back. He tensed a little when he first felt the hands, but later realized that the hands on him were not hurting him, but comforting him. Then his sense of smell began to work again. During the dream, or flashback, all he could smell was the stench of dried wood and sawdust. Sam could feel the small wood shavings covering his nose, but that evil smell changed and all he could smell made the last bit of tension in his body finally leave him. It was a mixture of cheap cologne, gunpowder and motor oil. Not a very pleasant combination, but to Sam Winchester, that smell meant safety. That smell meant comfort. That smell meant Dean._

_Slowly, Sam raised his arms and wrapped them around his big brother's neck._

_When Dean felt his brother's arms encircle his neck, he couldn't help but tighten his grip on his baby brother. Sam was waking up._

_"I'm right here, Sammy. I'm right here."_

Dean knew that it was the workbench that had Sam in the state that he was in. He had to get Sammy off the bench but knew that he wasn't really strong enough from being shot. But Dean heard something that brought him a boost of strength. At first he couldn't hear it, but leaning against the table next to his brother he heard it:

"D'n."

It was low and quiet, but Dean knew that Sam was calling out for him, so he gathered up as much strength as he could muster and stood up. He went in his back pocket and pulled out his blue handkerchief. It was the same one that Dean used that night when he covered Sam's eyes. He remembered that it actually calmed Sam down that night. Instead of folding it to make a blindfold, he just folded it in half so that it could cover both his eyes and nose.

Very carefully, Dean slid the makeshift blindfold under Sam's head and tied it behind his head. Then he gripped Sam's shirt and pulled his brother to stand in front of him. Not letting go of Sam's shirt, Dean could see that the realization was coming to Sam. From one instant to the next Dean's arms were filled with a sobbing baby brother, who was clutching hold of Dean's jacket as if his life depended on holding on to Dean.

John and Grant watched the entire interaction between Sam and Dean. John looked at his sons. He's heart soared for the protection that Dean unrelentingly giving his baby brother, and the acceptance that Sam was giving. It did break his heart that it was each other that they needed and not him, their father.

John knew that this was going to have to end soon. Dean was on pure adrenaline right now, and it wasn't going to last. John tore his eyes away from his sons and looked at Grant.

"This is going to end," John said with finality. "You will not seek them out. And I will make sure that you never see them again. Don't make me regret not killing you for what you did to my sons."

"What about my son?" Grant yelled. "What about him? He killed him. In cold blood!" Pointing his finger at Dean.

John looked back at Dean who was still cooing soothing words to his brother, but was looking at Grant with hatred in his eyes.

"Alright," John said. "Tell me what happened?" Looking at Dean.

"His son...it's okay Sammy. I'm right here." Dean soothed out. "We have to tell him...No. Dad won't be angry with you."

John looked at his sons. Sam was trembling in his eldest son's arms, whispering in his brother's ear. What could be so bad that he was afraid to tell him?

John started to become worried. He was beginning to think he was not going to like what was about to be said.

After several reassuring words from Dean, Sam just continued to hold on to Dean. Dean looked from Grant to his dad. He took a deep breath and uttered the words that the Winchester boys have kept a secret from their father for four years.

"I killed his son," Dean started. His voice calm and low as not to frighten Sam too much. "And his friends for what they did. And if it was to happen again, I would not hesitate to do it again and feel nothing."

John couldn't help but feel a chill go up and down his spine at the coldness of his eldest son's words.

"What did they do, son?" John asked.

Dean tightened his hold on Sam, looked at his father and uttered the three most horrible words he could say to his father.

"They raped him."

**TBC**

**A/N: Thank you to everyone that has stuck with me with this story. I hope you would take the time and leave a review and let me know what you think. :)**

**Many hugs and kisses to you all. :)**

**Mandancie :)**

_**Please follow my Mandancie pages on Facebook and Tumblr.** _


	10. John Comes to Terms

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

**A special thanks to _The Lonely God With a Box_ for beta'ing my chapter.**

**A/N: Just so you know that I am not abandoning this story, here is another chapter. I know it a little short, but I wanted to show John's reaction to what he just learned.**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to reannablue and ellie . reynolds .777. I want to thank you for sticking with me since the first chapter and stayed during my LONG hiatus. Thank you! :)**

**Chapter 9: John Comes to Terms**

"They raped him."

John could not believe what he just heard. They raped him. Sammy was raped. No. That was not possible. No one was to ever touch my son, my baby, in that manner. John thought as he looked at his two sons, his babies, holding each other.

" _Mom," John said, grinning from ear to ear. "He's beautiful...Head full of hair...Ten fingers. Ten toes...Is Dean asleep?...Bring him tomorrow... Thanks, mom...Love you."_

_John hung up the phone and walked back over to the bed where Mary was asleep and his youngest, Sam. He leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on his newborn baby's forehead and then kissed his beloved wife on her lips._

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" _Hey, Dean," John said standing in the doorway._

" _Daddy,"excitingly Dean said running into his daddy's arms._

" _Hey, kiddo," John easily picked up his eldest son. "What do you say, Dean, do you think that Sammy's big enough to be tossed around like a football?"_

" _No, daddy," Dean giggled._

" _You got him," Mary asked walking out of the room. John nodded to her._

" _Yeah," John looked over at his now, 6 month old baby lying in his crib. "Goodnight, Sammy."_

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_John wrapped up his baby in all his blankets and rushed out of the nursery. He saw his oldest coming out of his room._

" _Daddy," Dean cried out._

" _Take your brother out of here as fast as you can," John ordered._

" _But, daddy -"_

" _Now, Dean! Go!"_

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_Walking towards the car, John looked over at his sons. Dean was holding Sammy's hand and Sammy's holding a plane that was just too big for him. He knew that they really couldn't afford that toy, but he could tell that Sam really wanted it._

_Anyway, who's to say that a father can't spoil their kids sometimes? After the cards they had been dealt, John felt the boys needed to have a little bit of fun._

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_Finally, they were getting some much needed rest in an actual comfy bed. No hard, itchy sheets. Soft sheets. Soft bed. This ideal comfort. Bobby was letting them crash at his house for the weekend. John knew that the boys would be excited. Especially with the surprise that he had in store for them._

_Sam and Dean needed to have a little bit of normal. And what could be more normal than taking the boys to their first Halloween party._

_Laying in the bed, he could hear the sound of the door to his bedroom opening up. Within seconds John felt the air forcibly leave his lungs from impact when his baby boy came running in the room and jumping on his chest._

" _Thank you. Thank you, daddy," and overly excited curly head boy said jumping up and down on his dad's bed._

_John got out of the bed and, in one swift motion, grabbed his baby boy and hoisted him over his shoulder and walked out of the room. Walking down stairs, John saw Bobby and Dean in the kitchen. He walked in with the precious bundle over his shoulder._

" _Does this belong to you?"_

" _Sorry, dad," Dean said smiling._

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_John's heart just broke into a million pieces. He looked down at the sealed envelope in his hand and back up at his youngest son. Sam wanted to leave. He wanted to go to school. Part of him wanted to be happy for his son, but another knew he wouldn't be protected. He would be alone. That, John just couldn't abide in that. His temper got the best of him and he said some words in anger that completely stopped his sons. He gave Sam and Dean an ultimatum and stood back and watched. John knew how it would play out. He knew that Dean would pick Sam and Sam would do whatever Dean said was okay. After that, it was only his hurt pride that kept him from getting in touch with Sam these last few years._

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"They raped him."

Those three horrible words re-played in John's mine for a short while. John couldn't believe it. Who would hurt his baby like this? There were so many questions that needed to be answered. But not right now.

John looked over at Grant. The other man just shrugged his shoulders. This made John see red.

"Boys will be boys," John heard Grant say standing next to him.

Before Grant could say anything else, John swung the butt of his shotgun and hit Grant across the face. The man fell in an unceremonious heap towards the floor.

When the last of the immediate threat was neutralized, John walked over to his sons, slowly. He could see that Dean's legs were constantly shaking. He knew that he had to get over there or both of his sons would be on the floor soon.

"Sammy. Dean," John's voice was quiet so he would not scare them.

Sam's arms tighten around his brother's neck.

"It's alright, Sammy," Dean said soothingly. "It's just dad."

"Dad's going to be mad," Sam mumbled in Dean's neck.

"No," John could tell Dean's voice was getting strained. He was in pain. "Dad's not going to be mad. Not at you."

"Or you," John said slowly placing his hand on Sam's back, looking at Dean. "We need to go."

Dean nodded.

"Sammy," Dean said closing his eyes. "Do you think you can walk?"

Sam didn't answer. He just gripped Dean tighter.

"Sammy," Dean looked over his brother's shoulder looking at their dad. "Sam, dad is here. Go with him."

Sam shook his head in Dean's neck.

"Sammy," Dean's voice starts straining. "S'my I can't."

Sam, hearing the strain in his brother's voice, scared him. He stepped back a little. Not enough to separate, but enough for Sam to look at his older brother's face.

"Dean," Sam called out.

"Sam," John said standing beside both his sons. "We need to go. You boys need a hospital."

Sam turned to his father, panic rising in his chest.

"No," Sam practically yelled. "Dean promised. No hospitals."

"Sam," John's voice was low and calm. "Look at your brother. He's bleeding. He needs a doctor. Don't you want to help your brother?"

Sam looked from his dad to his brother. Seeing the blood on Dean scared Sam more.

"Dean?"

"Just me, S'my," Dean slurred. "I pr'mise."

John put his hand over Sam's hands that were still gripping his older brother's shirt.

"Let him go, Sammy," John's voice was low and soothing. It had been a long time since he talked like that to his sons. "It will be alright. I got him."

John pried Sam's fingers from Dean's shirt, then after wrapping an arm around his son's waist he half walked half carried Dean out of the garage. Sam, still in shock of seeing the blood on Dean, just stood in the middle of the garage.

A minute later, John walked back in the garage, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Sammy," John called out.

He walked up to his youngest. His heart just broke looking at his son. Sam was standing in front of him with tears in his eyes.

"Dad," Sam whispered.

"I'm right here, son."

"Please don't be mad at me any more."

"Oh, son," John put his hand on Sam's shoulder and pulled him into an embrace. Sam tensed up, but relaxed in his father's embrace.

"I could never be angry with you."

"B-but, dad..."

"Never," John cut the mumblings of his son's words from his shoulder. "I was a fool. But I'm not angry with you."

"I'm sorry, dad," Sam sobbed in his father's shoulder.

"Nothing to be sorry for," John said just holding his baby. John raised his eyes to the Heavens.

Oh Mary, I've hurt our son. I'm so sorry, my love, John thought, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

**TBC**

**A/N: Thank you to all who have read, reviewed, favored and followed this story. :) You've made me a very happy woman.**

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think.**

**Many hugs and kisses**

**Mandancie :)**

**Please follow my Mandancie page on Facebook and Tumblr.**


	11. Here Comes Bobby

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story.**

**A/N: Here is chapter 11. I hope that you enjoy it. I know it's short, but it's necessary.**

**Chapter 11: Here Comes Bobby**

After John left out of the house, Bobby sat at his desk for the remainder of the evening. He didn't like that something had happened with the younger Winchester. He had been keeping tabs on the boy since Sam had left for college. Bobby knew the reason Sam wanted to stay in that high school for one year. He didn't always know, but Bobby did find out when the Winchesters stayed for Christmas break.

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_The boys had just shown up at Bobby's. They were getting their things out of the Impala when Bobby stepped out on the back porch._

_"Boys," Bobby called out._

_"Hey Bobby," Dean answered, not looking at their 'uncle.' He handed his brother a duffel, Sam walked up to Bobby, who was still standing on the porch, and gave the man a one arm hug._

_"How are things at school?" Bobby asked Sam._

_"Okay," Sam replied vaguely._

_"Just okay?" Bobby wheedled as they walked into the house. Dean followed them in, heading straight upstairs to put their things away._

_Bobby walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table._

_"I would think that you getting your wish of staying in one school to be more than okay."_

_Sam stood in the middle of the kitchen and looked at Bobby. He wondered what could weigh so heavy on the child._

_One thing he knew, Bobby mused, was that the youngest Winchester carried the world on his shoulders and his emotions on his sleeves. The boy had a caring, trusting heart. He really hated to see that child hurt._

_"What's on your mind, Sam?" Bobby asked, taking a sip of his coffee._

_"I just hope everything works out," Sam said finally._

_"Sit," Bobby ordered. Sam walked over to the table and sat down across from his uncle. "Now what are you talking about?"_

_"I didn't really tell Dad why I wanted to stay in one school and I don't know how he will react when he finds out."_

_"Why did you want to stay in one school?"_

_"Junior year is a very important year," Sam stated._

_"Okay."_

_"If I want colleges to notice my grades, then I need to stay in one school so they don't get a boatload of transcripts. It will look good on a college..." Sam began to trail off from the look he was getting from Bobby._

_"Let me get this straight," Bobby turned and fully faced Sam. "You want to go to college?"_

_Sam slowly nodded. He didn't like the look he was getting._

_"Please don't tell Dad," Sam begged in a rush, his expression nervous._

_A small smile started to form on Bobby's lips. "Why don't you want to tell your Dad? You want to go to college. That ain't something to be ashamed of, son," Bobby told Sam, his voice full of pride. This small boy sitting across from him, that he had a hand in his raising wanted to go to college. Bobby couldn't help the pride and happiness that was swelling up in him._

_Dean came back downstairs when he heard Bobby and Sam talking about college._

_"Yeah," Dean said walking up to Sam and ruffling his hair. "Baby brother wants to go to college."_

_"I'm proud of you, Sam," Bobby said._

_He saw the tension just melt of the young Winchester's shoulders after hearing that._

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That was a proud day. Bobby remembered. They had fun that afternoon. Bobby made his famous chili, which the boys loved, in honor of Sam wanting to go to college. But that wonderful feeling that came in on the heels of Sam's announcement didn't last long. They didn't tell their father until the end of Sam's senior year that he had been planning his future and had been accepted to a very prestigious college.

Bobby remembered that conversation on the phone with a very angry father Winchester.

_"He's just going to college, John, not the Moon."_

_"He lied to me," John claimed and Bobby could almost see the man's face turning red as he spoke._

_"I don't think he lied, John."_

_"What else would you call it?!"_

_"John, now both you and Dean said that this wasn't the life that you wanted for Sammy. He's making something of himself. Why can't you be proud of him?"_

_Bobby heard John sigh over the phone._

_"I am proud of Sam." John's voice was no longer angry but that meant nothing to Bobby, his fellow hunter could become enraged again if he said the wrong thing._

_"Then what is the problem?" Bobby asked, throwing caution to the wind._

_"He got accepted into Stanford. Full ride," John informed him slowly._

_"That's wonderful, isn't it?" Bobby asked, feeling as happy for Sam as though the boy was his own flesh and blood, but hearing the voice on the other end he knew John wasn't pleased. "What's really going on with you?"_

_"He's going to be alone," John confessed. "And you didn't see the look of pure fear in his eyes when he told me."_

_"Why would he be afraid to tell you? You...you didn't... John, you didn't. You yelled at him. You yelled at him, didn't you?" When Bobby didn't receive an answer, "Dammit, John. What did you say to him?"_

_When John told Bobby what he said to his sons before leaving the motel room, Bobby's anger was so great that he felt like throwing the phone across the room. He couldn't believe what he just heard._

_"JOHN, YOU IDJIT! When did this happen?"_

_"Just now," John answered, sounding amazingly contrite. He knew when he left his boys his temper outweighed his common sense. "They should be on their way to you. I know how this works."_

_"Yeah, I know. You're a fool, you know that? You better hope you can fix this."_

_Bobby hung up the phone. He knew, just like John, that after an ultimatum like that, Dean would bring Sam here and they sit for a while until one or both parties calmed down. Bobby knew that he would be getting a call from Dean telling him that they were on their way. Twenty minutes later, Bobby received the call. He told them that their room would be waiting for them and the back door will be left unlocked._

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Bobby always thought that John was an idiot sometimes when it came to his sons. Yes, he knew that John loved his boys more than life itself, but he just didn't know how to show it.

Bobby got up from behind his desk and walked into the kitchen and pulled a can of beer from the fridge. He wished he had insisted that he go with John. No one liked it when the baby was hurt or in trouble. Now, somewhere out there, Sam was hurt or in trouble and he was stuck at his house waiting for the phone to ring. Hoping that the next ring would be from John or Dean or, better yet, Sam himself. He just wanted to hear the child's (yes, he knows that Sam is now a 6'4" and 19 years old, but he was still a child to him) voice.

After sitting for another hour stewing in his own juices, waiting for the phone to ring, it does. Bobby rushed to the phone to answer.

"Singer."

_"Bobby," John's voice came through the receiver._

"Johnny," Bobby was able to breathe easy. "How's Sam? What happened?"

_"Bobby," John stopped the barrage of questions._

Hearing the stress in John's voice brought a whole new level of panic to rise in Bobby's gut. "What's happened?"

_"How fast can you get to Norfolk, Nebraska?"_

"Johnny."

_"I'll explain everything when you get here. The General Hospital in Norfolk."_

"Tell me what's happened?"

_"They shot Dean." there was a pause, then, "They attacked my baby."_

Bobby didn't like the sound of that. "I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Bobby hung up the phone and gathered up his things for the trip to Norfolk. After locking up the house, Bobby got into his pick-up and headed out of town. While driving, the only thing that was going through Bobby's mind was someone attacked Sam and shot Dean. The next thing that went through Bobby's mind was the question of the current state of the culprits, were they dead? Bobby couldn't help but hope so, for hurting those boys. Trying to calm himself down, Bobby took some deep breaths and carefully drove out of town and headed to his surrogate family.

**TBC**

**A/N: Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, favored, and followed my story. I really hope you like this chapter. Please leave a review and let me know what you think of it.**

**Many hugs and kisses to you all**

**Mandancie :)**

**Please follow my Mandancie page on Facebook and Tumblr.**


	12. First Steps to Healing

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.**

**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story.**

**A/N: I am so sorry for the lack of updates for this story. I know it seems like I'll never update, but I promise I will not abandon this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Chapter 12: First Steps to Healing**

John paced back and forth in front of the hospital room. He could not find the courage to go inside and face his sons, nor did he have the strength to walk away either. Learning what he had about his youngest son, he didn't want to be away from Sammy, but he didn't know how to handle him. John continued to pace back and forth. If he was completely honest with himself, the most miserable time he's had was after he told Sam not to look for him. He regretted that argument more than anything. And now learning that he pretty much rejected his son at a time when he needed him most just seem to make John's pain that much deeper. He could rationalize that he didn't know that Sammy had been sexually assaulted, but that wasn't a excuse. It wouldn't have happened if he had been with his sons more. It wouldn't have happened if he hadn't insisted that they stayed in that town longer than they had originally planned.

He remembered giving Dean that order that they were to stay in that town until he came for them, and then getting angry with Dean when he did show up and found out that they had indeed left and was a state over.

_"Dean!" John had yelled over the phone. He was pacing the hotel room trying to calm his anger. "Where the hell are you? Didn't I tell you that you were to stay here?"_

_"Something came up," Dean answered without emotion. "We had to leave."_

_"What could have possibly happen to make you disobey an order? You were supposed to stay put. You were supposed to stay out of sight. Where's Sam?"_

_"He's right here."_

_"Put him on the phone."_

_"He's asleep!" Dean almost yelled. It was the first time since they started talking that Dean had any emotion in his voice.  
"Put. Him. On. The. Phone."_

_Dean knew when his Dad sounded like that he was to obey, but after the day that Sam had had at the clinic, he just wanted Sam to rest, so if that meant that their father would be angry with him than so be it. Dean looked over at his sleeping brother. It had been two days since the attack and they had returned from the clinic a couple of hours ago. Even though it was done anonymously, it was still traumatic for Sammy to have to relive the attack and answer those embarrassing questions. Actually, Sam fell asleep in the car on the way back to the hotel room and Dean carried his baby brother back in the house. It broke his heart what Sam was going to have to endure for the next couple of weeks._

_"DEAN!" John yelled through the phone bringing Dean out of his thoughts._

_"We are at the Johnson Motel, fifty miles from where you are. Just take the highway. You'll find us."_

_"Dean..."_

_"See you when you get here." Dean said, cutting his Dad off then hanging up the phone, ending the conversation._

_John pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it. He couldn't believe his son just hung up on him. Anger began to bubble up in John. He walked back out of the motel room and headed out of town in the direction that Dean said they were. It didn't take him long to get to the motel. It was even a shorter time when he found out what room they were in. He saw the Impala parked in front of the door. John got out of the truck and walked towards the door. He pound on the door. Within seconds Dean met him, but his eldest would not let him in the room. Instead he pushed John back and walked out of the room closing the door behind him._

_"What the hell, Dean?" John barked out._

_"We had to leave," Dean looked at his father in his eyes. He knew that whatever punishment he would receive for not obeying a direct order he would gladly take. "I packed up the car. Put Sam in it and drove off."_

_"I told you to stay in that town. It was very important that you stayed. Why did you leave?"_

_Dean didn't answer. He just looked at his father._

_"I will not ask you again," John growled._

_"I got into a fight and we couldn't stay there any more."_

_"I ought to take the Impala back," John threatened. "I see that you are not mature enough to have the car."_

_John knew that, outside of Sammy, to Dean the most important thing was the Impala. He knew how much it meant to Dean to get the car. He saw his son's shoulders slump a little before straightening back up and taking what his father was saying._

John thought about his yelling at Dean and threatening to take the car. Now knowing what happened, he wished he handled that situation differently. John continued to pace back and forth. That's how Bobby found him when he showed up at the hospital.

"John!" Bobby called out.

John looked up and a small sense of relief came across his face. As much as he did not want to admit it, John knew his limitations. He knew it was possible and probable that he would say the wrong thing and as a result loose not just Sammy but Dean as well.

"Tell me," the gruff hunter said.

John turned and cracked the door to Dean's room and looked in. Dean was lying in the bed. The covers were up to his chest with his arms above the covers. Sam was sitting in the chair next to the bed with his head down on the bed, holding Dean's hand. At first appearance, they both looked to be sleeping. John retreated out of the room and faced Bobby.

"Let's go get some coffee."

The two hunters headed for the vending machines in the waiting room. There on the counter was a coffee pot, complimentary coffee, cups, stir-sticks, creamer and sugar. Bobby poured two cups and they both sat down.

"You want to tell me what is going on?" Bobby asked handing John a cup.

John shook his head. He still couldn't wrap his head around what he learned. But he remembered how Sam shook in his arms when he hugged him.

"You said Sam was attacked. What did you mean?"

"They hurt my baby," John said. "They hurt him in the worse way."

"Who is they and what did they do?"

"They raped him, Bobby." John looked at his friend, tears pooling in his eyes. "That's why they left town, and I yelled and threatened Dean. But I never once asked the reason why they left."

Bobby listened to John and couldn't believe his ears. Sam had been raped. He then thought about Dean. And there was one thing that Bobby learned when it came to Sam no one was immune to Dean's rage.

"What did Dean do?"

"What?" John looked at Bobby.

"Your eldest son. What did he do?"

"He killed them."

_0000_00000_00000_0000_00000_0000_

Dean, as much as he should, didn't feel that much pain. It wasn't the first time he'd been shot, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. He was beginning to wake up. He knew he was in the hospital, and that there was warmth on his hand, that without looking knew that his baby brother was sitting right next to the bed. The weight he felt on his wrist, he knew that Sam was also probably sleeping.

Dean opened his eyes and confirmed what he was thinking. Here, sitting on probably an uncomfortable plastic chair, was his brother. Sam's head rested on Dean's arm. Dean just looked at his brother. As much as he wanted to yell at his brother for the idiocy of leaving his dorm, he knew he never would. Now that Sam was right here with him, Dean could now breathe. He had never been so scared and angry at the same time. He wasn't this scared when Sammy was attacked. Maybe because Dean didn't know that Sam had left the motel room, or that he'd been jumped in the alleyway. When he had attacked those boys, who he once thought were allies, it was purely on big brother mode. His one rule; hurt Sammy and he'd rip a lung out, which was not something that he took lightly.

Dean looked down at the boy with too long brown hair that draped and covered his face. He could still remembered what he felt when they dragged his Sammy in front on him. He could still remember the white hot rage that he felt when Sam raised his head, but it didn't compare to what he felt when he saw those guys drag Sam into the back of that van. The only thing that calmed him that he didn't go on a blind rage was the fact that he could hear Sam's breathing in the background. It was that same breathing that got him calm down enough to think clearly so that he could track his brother. Dean knew when he gets upset he's irrational. One thing he's learned when it came to Sammy he could not risk Sam's health and well-being on diving into danger himself.

Dean's arm was starting to tingle at the loss of feeling, and as much as he knew all he would need is for Sam to move his head over a little to let the blood flow recommence back to his hand, Dean just didn't have the heart to tell his baby brother to move. He would just endure what Sam was causing just because it was Sam causing it. To the older Winchester, if Sam was causing the discomfort, then that meant that Sam was really here next to him and not a hallucination.

Dean was content to let Sam stay that way, but time and luck had a way of letting him know that he had to be a big brother. Sam started mewling and keening softly. He began grinding his head more and more into Dean's arm, almost as if he was trying to get even closer to his brother. The older brother knew that his baby brother was in the middle of a nightmare and that he would have to wake him soon before it escalated into more than Dean would be able to handle in the bed he was currently residing in. Squeezing his baby brother's hand that was trapped under Sam's head, and with his other carding through Sammy's hair trying to help his brother come out of his torment of another nightmare.

"Sammy," Dean soothingly called. "Wake up, Sammy."

Sam began to stir a little more at the sounds of his older brother speaking.  
"Come on, Sammy." Dean coaxed. "Wake up for me."

Sam's eyes popped open, and a small gasp escaped his lips. It took a second for the younger Winchester to realize where he was and who was with him. A small smile graced Sammy's face when he looked at his brother. But that look only lasted a second, when he realized where they were and why they were there.

"Dean," Sam broke the silence in the room.

"Sam," Dean's voice was stern, but lacked harshness. "Why did you leave your dorm? If you wanted to go out, why didn't you wake me?"

Sam could feel the lump in his throat. The last thing he wanted was to burden Dean, but it never turned out that way. He would always be a burden to his big brother.

Unaware of the internal struggle that was residing inside Sam, Dean continued. "Do you know how I felt when I saw them put you in that van and I couldn't get to you in time?"

"D'n, I'm sorry."

"Sammy," Dean said, shaking his head. "I don't want to hear that you're sorry, and you're not a burden to me, so you can get that out of your head."

"Jess just wanted to meet with me," Sam sighed.

"Sammy, do you know who Jessica was?"

Sam shook his head. "Just a girl I met at school."

"No, Sam," Dean sighed. "She sought you out. She wanted to get to know you, so that she could hurt you."

"What are you talking about?"

"She was Carlos' little sister."

_00000_0000_00000_0000_0000_

Bobby left John in the waiting room and started walking the halls of the hospital. Deep in thought, Bobby couldn't believe what he had just learned. Sam was hurt and in the worse way. Dean killed them. Knowing how Dean is when it comes to Sam, Bobby knew whatever Dean did it was not pretty.

Bobby was brought out of his musing by the sound of a loud crash and a gut-wrenching scream. Bobby knew after years of taking care of those boys that it was Sam screaming. He rushed into the room just to see Dean lying in the hospital bed holding his brother who was crying in his arms.

**TBC**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed, favored, and followed my story.**

**Many hugs and kisses to you all**

**Mandancie :)**

_**Please follow my Mandancie page on Facebook and Tumblr.** _


	13. John's Shortcomings

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story.**

**A/N: I know it has been a very long time since I've worked on this story. Believe me when I say that even though I was not working on it, it was not far from my mind. I made promises that I would not abandon a story and I mean that. But I do feel that an explanation is needed. Supernatural was the one show that my husband and I would watch faithfully every week it came on. Supernatural was our show. No one could talk to us when the show was on. And it had been like that through all ten seasons that we shared together. Now, that he has passed away, it is really hard to watch my favorite show alone. Not being able to watch the show like I use to {being that it was so hard to watch it alone}, my muse pretty much stopped working for Supernatural.**

**I would like to thank everyone that has stuck with me during this very hard time and I ask that you please be patient with me as I try and get this story finished.**

**Enjoy.**

**Chapter 13: John's shortcomings**

Dean woke up and sat up in the bed. He looked over at the other bed in the room and at its occupant. Sam was currently curled up on the mattress. Dean's heart broke as he looked at his baby brother. It has been two weeks since he had told Sam who Jessica really was and after the outburst in the hospital room, Sam had stopped talking. It didn't mean that he didn't follow Dean around though. It was just like having a second shadow trailing behind him all the time.

Dean got up and went downstairs. Bobby was sitting at the table drinking coffee.

"Dean."

"Morning, Bobby." Dean walked over to the coffee pot on the counter.

"Sam still asleep?"

"Yeah," Dean sighed as he pour himself a cup.

"You know you're not suppose to have that. Not yet anyway."

"Yeah, well, I need to wake up. And if I don't have coffee in the morning you can forget it." Dean sat down at the table in front of Bobby. "Where's Dad?"

The side door opened and John walked in the kitchen. The silence in the room was deafening. Neither man spoke much less looked at each other. The silence was broken by the sounds of footsteps rushing down the stairs.

Dean put his mug down and went to the stairs in time to see Sam almost running down them. He gave his brother a questioning look.

"You weren't there," was Sam's quiet reply.

Dean didn't respond to that statement. He just reached up and gave Sam a comforting squeeze on the shoulder, narrowing his eyes. Sam lowered his eyes in response.

They stood there for a short moment, and then both walked into the kitchen. The tension in the room was palpable. Dean could literally feel Sam shaking behind him.

"Why don't we all sit down?" Bobby asked.

Bobby and John sat down on one side of the table while Sam and Dean sat at the other. Again, silence reigned over the small kitchen.

John looked over at his sons. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Never in his darkest nightmares did he ever think that Sam would be hurt in that way. It pained him that Sam felt that he couldn't tell him. Thinking back on the day he confronted Sam about his admission letter, it always bugged him about how scared Sam looked. Even though his temper got the better of him, he didn't think that Sam would actually fear him.

John looked over at Dean. His first thought saddened him more. Dean had killed. Not a monster, but people. Looking at Dean, he thought back at all the times before leaving them at some rundown motel, and drilling that same order to his eldest son over and over: Watch out for Sammy. John knew that Dean took protecting his baby brother seriously. He had been on the receiving end of Dean's fury from some argument that he and Sam would have. He did not blame Dean for what happened. Hell, if he actually been there when the assault happened he would have done the same thing, if not something worse to those boys that hurt his baby. His Sammy.

Looking back between his sons, John puzzled over knowledge that neither of his sons spoke. Why had they not told him? How could they keep this from him?

Sam could feel his dad's eyes on him. It was bad enough that Dean knew. Not that it would have been any other way, but the last person he ever wanted to know was his dad. He knew he couldn't take his dad's judging eyes. He didn't want to have to answer his dad's questions. Hell, there were things that he hadn't told Dean and Dean was there. He could never tell Dean what all happened in that garage.

Sam hazarded a glance up and saw his dad's eyes on him. He involuntarily flinched and quickly lowered his gaze back to the table, swallowing the lump of anxiety in his throat.

"Dammit John," Bobby growled, making everyone jump at the sudden noise of his voice. "Talk to your sons."

Everyone looked up. John saw resignation in Dean's eyes and fear in Sam's.

"Sam," John's voice was a little harsher than he intended, causing Sam to again flinch. "How could you-"

"How could I what?" Sam cut his dad off. Anger that he didn't even know was boiling under his skin making itself known. His voice shaking a little. "How could I let this happen?"

"Sam," Dean voice was soothingly low.

"How could I not fight back?" Sam yelled this time not paying attention to Dean.

"Sammy, calm down," Dean soothingly said, gripping Sam's forearm. Dean knew if he didn't get Sam calm, Sam would soon get physical and fist would start flying. Even though Dean was out of the hospital, the last thing he wanted to do right now was to restrain Sam.

Dean could feel Sam's muscles tensing under his hand and knew that at any second things were about to get physical. Dean glanced over at Bobby and his dad and saw the same look of shock on their faces at Sammy's outburst. Dean knew what he was going to have to do so this wouldn't get out of hand. Steeling his heart, Dean let go of Sam's arm, reached over and gripped his baby brother's head and forcefully turned it so that Sam was looking and Dean and only Dean. At the force of Dean turning his head, Sam stopped at mid-rant. For a split second fear shown in Sam's eyes until it focused on his big brother.

"Calm down."

Tears instantly filled Sam's eyes as he nodded. Well, as much as he could move his head in the grip that Dean had on him.

"What happened was not your fault," Dean said.

A tear leaked from Sam's eyes as he pretty much deflated in Dean's grasp. Dean gently wiped the tear away with his thumb and then released his baby brother's head. Once Dean got Sam calm, he turned to his father. The glowering look he gave his dad let John know that he should be careful of the next thing he said.

John mentally flinched at the look he was getting from his oldest. And he couldn't help but shake his head at how he ruined both of his son's lives with how they lived. He looked at the harsh glare he was receiving and knew that what Dean did back at that garage; he would not hesitate to do again.

_Watch out for Sammy. Protect Sammy._

Oh, how John wished he could go back in time and amend that order. Tell his son that if something bad happened that daddy would take care of it. But no, he pretty much told his sons that they were on their own and now he was seeing the fruits of what his absentee father status has got him.

The guilt was eating John up inside, and when Sam started yelling about what he thought John was going to ask, he couldn't help but feel that guilt multiply.

John lowered his gaze. He couldn't look at his sons. The guilt of not being there when they needed him the most was eating him up inside. As quick as he could, John got up from the table and headed for the back door.

"John," Bobby called out, following the older Winchester out the door.

Dean blinked. He had never known John Winchester to look away from him. Was he that much of a disgrace. He knew he dropped the ball when Sammy was attacked, but to see the look in his father's eyes and then see him turn away from him, Dean was shocked. Dean did not regret what he did. If he had a do over, he would have done the same thing. The only thing that he regretted was that he put his Sammy on the back burner. If he didn't do that, if he actually dropped him off at the movies before going to see his so-called friends then none of this would have happened. But the minute they put their hands on Sammy, their fates in Dean's eyes were sealed. Dean didn't hesitate. And if it happened again, he would do anything to protect Sammy.

Muttering from Sam brought Dean out of his thoughts.

"I didn't want it. I didn't ask for this. I tried to get away."

Dean pulled his baby brother over towards him and brought him into an embrace, holding him tightly as he listened to the sad mutterings of his brother.

_000_000_000_0000_0000

"John," Bobby yelled when he stepped out onto the porch. "Where the hell do you think you are going?"

"I can't stay in that room," John called back, walking towards his truck.

"Dammit John," Bobby said, walking off the porch and going to the other hunter, grabbing the back of his shirt. "Talk to you boys."

"They're better off without me," John said.

Bobby grabbed John's shoulder as he tried to get into his truck and forcefully turned him around to face him.

"Your boys need you."

"I can't even look at them."

Bobby narrowed his eyes in disgust.

"And why not?"

"They should not have had to go through that. They should have told me."

"Told you what?" Bobby countered. "The way you are acting now, I see why they didn't. Talk to your boys. They need their father."

John sighed.

"No, they don't," John replied, leaning against the truck. "Did you see how Sam responded to Dean? They don't need me. They've never needed me."

"They always needed you. You just weren't there." John looked up at his friend. "Change that. Be there for them now."

"What am I supposed to say to them?"

"How about nothing. Just be there for them. Don't accuse them, for one thing, which is what you were about to do when Sam started yelling."

"They should have told me," John said, sounding deflated.

"Maybe," Bobby said. "And maybe you should have just asked why they moved instead of assuming that they disobeyed an order. Maybe you need to work on that Winchester pride and rein in that temper of yours."

Bobby held out his hand. John looked down at his friend's hand; understanding what was being asked, put the truck keys in the upturned palm.

"Talk to your children."

John looked at Bobby one more time and then walked back into the house.

"Idjit," Bobby said, as John walked through the door.

He turned his gaze skyward, sighed, and then looking at the house thinking, he never thought that he would have this family in his life. They had their ups and they had their downs, but he's grown to love them as his own.

Bobby walked back into the house.

**TBC**

**A/N: Thank you to everyone that has stuck with me throughout this story.**

**There will be one more chapter to this story.**

**Please leave a review, letting me know what you think about this chapter.**

**Many hugs and kisses to you**

**Mandancie :D**


	14. Trying To Start Over

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story.**

**A/N: I know it has been a long time in the making, but I have finally finished this story. I want to thank everyone that has supported me throughout this journey. Thank you so much for your support. I hope you enjoy the ending.**

**Chapter 14: Trying to Start Over**

It has been three months now since Bobby forced John to talk with his sons. Not that it went well. John walked into the house and sat like a bump on a log, not saying anything. Nothing was resolved. They said nothing. The uncomfortable silence became too much for Sam, and he rushed out of the room with Dean following behind him.

There was an awkward silence around the house since that day. Now Sam figured he was ready. The sun was just coming over the horizon when Dean found Sam packing his bags.

"Where do you think you're going?" Dean asked, walking over to his bed, sitting down.

"Dean," Sam said, facing Dean from where he was standing. "I can't stay out of school for long. I'll lose my scholarship."

"I told you I talked with your counselor. They said that you could take as long as you need."

"And I appreciate that," Sam said, stuffing another shirt into his bag. "But sitting around here, doing nothing…"

Dean got up from his bed and walked over to where Sam was now pulling his things off of the dresser.

"You know," Dean said after Sam put everything from the dresser into his duffel, "We didn't come here with a lot of stuff."

Sam looked over at Dean, his brow furrowed.

"What are you talking about?"

"Bobby will let us come back," Dean said, pulling out an old bottle of aftershave that had been sitting on top of the dresser since Dean was seventeen.

Taking a glance into Sam's bag, he saw that not only was he packing his own things, but he was packing Dean's as well.

"Sammy," Dean said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sam said a little too fast for his brother's liking.

"Sammy," Dean said, again. "Why are you packing?"

"I want to go back to school," Sam said, almost pleadingly. "I never got to finish that paper. It was due."

"Sam,"Dean's voice was a little for forceful. "Stop."

Sam's hands froze on an old shirt that they hadn't used in five or six years. Dean walked over to Sam, who was now standing by the closet, pulling random clothes out. Dean had to marvel at the fact that even now, when he would give an order, Sam followed. But he couldn't think about that now. Something was bothering Sam, and he knew he needed to try and fix it.

"Why are you packing things that we usually leave here?" Dean asked, pulling the shirt out of Sam's hand.

Whatever energy was in Sam moments before seemed to deflate from him when Dean took the shirt.

"Did something happen that I need to know about?" Dean asked.

"No," Sam sighed, walking over to his bed and sitting down.

"Something had to have happened if you are packing everything that we've ever left here. Your duffel is going to be heavy to carry at the rate you're going."

"I – I can't stay here," Sam finally said after a long moment of silence. "I need to do something. Hunting is out of the questions because I'm a liability."

"What? Who said you're a liability?"

Sam lowered his head. No one really said that in those words, but he could tell by the way Bobby looked at him and the fact that their dad hadn't said two words to him since the garage. He knew his dad probably didn't trust him anymore. The last thing he wanted was for Dean to start thinking of him like that, so he figured he should just cut and run now before things got too bad.

"Sammy, who said you were a liability?" Dean asked again, walking over to Sam and standing in front of him.

"WHO?" Dean yelled, cupping his brother's chin and bringing it up so that Sam could look him in the eye. "Was it Dad? Did he say that to you?"

"Dean … I … no," Sam stuttered.

Dean let go of Sam and rushed out of the room. At the first floor, John walked into the house. Bobby was in the living room, looking through some old tomes.

"Bobby," John called out.

"In here."

Dean, standing at the edge of the stairs could feel nothing but rage. Who would even hint at the insinuations that Sam was a liability? Who gave them that right? They have been in this house for the past three months, so it would only be someone within this house that would tell Sam that. And once again, Sam was too afraid to say to him that someone was doing this to him. Well, this ends here.

Dean rushed down the stairs.

_0000_0000_0000

"Did you find anything more?" John asked, shrugging his shoulders out of his jacket. "There was nothing I could find in the library."

"I found a few things," Bobby said, pulling one of the discarded tomes on the edge of his desk towards him. "It gives a history of how these things came about, but not much on how to kill it."

John sighed as he sat down in the chair across from Bobby's desk.

"Well, any information is better than none."

Bobby shrugged, pushing the tome towards John. John reached out but never touched it. A fist came from above, hitting John in the jaw, causing the man to fall out of the chair and sprawled out on the floor.

"DEAN!" Bobby exclaimed, getting up from his seat.

Dean wasn't listening. He was gearing up for another assault when he felt hands on his shoulders pulling him back.

"What the hell's gotten into you, boy?" Bobby yelled, struggling to pull Dean back.

"What the hell?" John slurred, trying to sit up on the floor.

"What gave you the right?" Dean screamed. "A liability? Really? Who are you to tell anyone that?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" John asked, finally getting to his feet, his jaw stinging from the punch.

"Dean, calm down," Bobby yelled, getting a very irate Winchester under control. Standing in between the two older Winchesters, looking at Dean. "What has gotten you so riled up?"

"He told Sam that he was a liability," Dean accused, pointing at his father.

Bobby looked at John, shocked. John looked just as shocked.

"You told Sam he was a liability?" Bobby asked.

"I haven't talked to Sam," John said.

"You're always accusing him of something," Dean said, stepping forward trying to get to his father, but Bobby stopping him. "Something is always his fault."

"Dean, calm down," Bobby said, pushing Dean back. Turning back to John, "You haven't talked to Sam. At all?"

John looked from his oldest son to his friend and shook his head.

"What am I suppose to say to him?"

"How about he's not a liability," Dean fumed.

"I never said that," John yelled.

"Why haven't you talked to your son?" Bobby asked. His voice low, but John could hear the anger underneath.

"What was I supposed to say? Ask him about the gory detail? I don't want to know. I don't want to know what they did to my baby. I don't want to know why he let this happen."

"Let this happen. Let this happen," Dean looked up at his father. "You think that Sam wanted this? You have no idea what happened. You have no idea the nightmares that he suffered. The panic attacks that he had to endure. The medications he had to take. The scares of what he could have contracted because they did not use protection. The idea that it was just fun. Boys being boys was what their father said. And you have the gall to stand there and wonder why did he let this happen? You're all set to blame someone. Why don't you blame the one that truly is at fault?"

"What are you talking about?" Bobby asked.

"All this. Everything that Sammy's gone through. Everything is because of me."

"No, Dean," Bobby said.

"Yes," Dean said. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't left him alone, he wouldn't have felt the need to go out. If I had driven him to the movies that night, none of this would have happened. If I just spent the time with Sammy in the first place, none of this would have happened."

"No, Dean," Bobby said again.

"So," Dean said, looking John in the eyes. "If you're going to blame anybody for what happened to Sammy, then it stops at my feet, not his. I failed him. I didn't protect him. Not that night. But I will say this. I will protect him now. Even if it is from you. You will not make Sammy feel any less than what he should. Now you want to get angry at somebody about what happened, get angry at me. Blame me. But you will leave Sammy out of it."

Dean turned and walked out of the room leaving two hunters in stunned silence. Walking towards the stairs, looking up, he saw Sammy standing at the landing. Dean wasted no time climbing the stairs. He could see the tears in his baby brother's eyes. Not wanting to dwell on what was said in the living room, Dean walked past his brother and into their bedroom where he finished what Sam started. Not packing everything, just a few essentials, Dean grabbed his and Sam's jacket and walked out of the room. As if Dean had a magnet drawing Sam closer, Sam followed his big brother out of the room and out of the house. Neither one said anything to their dad and uncle or each other. Once in the car, Dean started her up and pulled Baby out of the driveway.

_0000_0000_0000_0000

Bobby was the first to recover his voice after Dean left. He turned and faced the elder Winchester.

"You never talked to your sons?" Bobby growled.

"You wouldn't understand," John sighed, walking towards the kitchen, heading for the fridge.

"What wouldn't I understand," Bobby said, following John. "I told you to talk to them."

"I can't," John confessed, turning to face him. "You just saw how well talking did."

"How about not accusing them?" Bobby said.

"I don't need to hear this from you, too," John said, turning and grabbing a beer out of the fridge. He placed the cold can against his jaw to try and soothe the ache his son put there.

"When are you going to get it into that thick skull of yours that this was none of their faults. This was a horrendous act that was done to Sam. The only fault is to those boys that attacked and raped Sam. NOT SAM! This was not Dean's fault. You need to see that."

_0000_000_000_0000

Things were slowly getting back to normal. Sam was finishing up his second year. Dean permanently moved in with Sam. When they left Bobby's the previous year, Dean refused to put Sam through the torment of feeling inadequate. They had spoken with Bobby a few times. Bobby's even came by and visit for a couple of days, but they haven't heard from their father, and Dean wasn't looking.

Dean did odd jobs around the campus. He was a regular fixture around. Everyone knew that if they saw Sam walking, he may appear alone, but in fact, Dean was close by. No one challenged that point. There was an understanding with the faculty and the Winchesters, mostly Dean. Dean did not interfere with classes if he were to sit in on any of them. If Sam had one of his panic attacks, which were coming few and far between, he would subtly remove his brother from the class to deal with him in private. Dean was quite surprised about how the Dean of the school was taking his presence, but forever grateful.

It was a quiet night. Both brothers were in their apartment. Dean was watching television and Sam was in the kitchen working on his homework. Many would think that the blaring of the TV would be a distraction for Sam, but it was the opposite. Growing up, sharing one hotel room, Dean would, on many nights, watch a cop show or western while Sam was doing his homework. It was a calming white noise for Sam. For some reason, he could concentrate better, but it was only with Dean.

A knock on the door brought both boys out of their thoughts. Dean got up, waving his hand towards Sam to continue his homework, went to the door.

"Don't stop. I got it." Sam smirked and looked back down at the paper in front of him. What was said next made Sam's heart drop into his stomach and panic rise in his belly.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I just came to talk."

Sam's head shot up when he heard the voice. The last person he ever wanted to talk to was this one.

"May I come in?"

"No."

"I understand. Is Sam here?"

"What do you want, Jessica," Dean growled.

"I just wanted to apologize," she said, hazarding a step closer. Dean matched her action until he couldn't see Sam's panicked reaction because of the door. He did not want Sam to even see this girl.

"A little too late, don't you think. Leave now!"

"Please, Dean."

"Look, it is taking everything within me not to kill you right now. I suggest you take advantage of that and leave. Don't come back."

Biting her lips, she nodded. Without saying another word, Jessica walked down the hallway towards the steps. Dean didn't come back into the apartment until he didn't see her any longer. Knowing he would probably have to deal with a panicked Sam, Dean took a deep breath, readying himself to what he would face.

Dean walked into their apartment and sighed. Sam wasn't sitting at the table. He knew that his brother didn't leave the apartment. Walking towards the back room, he heard it. Sam was in the bathroom, retching.

Knocking on the door, Dean called out, "Sammy. I'm coming in."

Dean walked into the small bathroom and saw Sam leaning against the tub. His knees pulled up to his chest, trying to make himself smaller in the cramped space, which was a feat in itself since Sam was taller than Dean.

"Hey buddy," Dean soothed, walking closer towards Sam. "You feeling better?"

Dean saw Sam's mouth moving but couldn't hear the words coming from him. He squeezed himself between Sam and the wall sitting on the edge of the tub.

"Talk to me, Sammy."

"Why? Why?" Sam whispered over and over.

"She's gone," Dean reassured. "She won't be coming back around here again."

"Why can't they just leave me alone?"

"I don't know," Dean mumbled. He felt Sam start to lean more on his leg and as much as he didn't mind the weight of his brother, being squeezed between the wall and the Sasquatch while sitting on an uncomfortable edge was not his idea of ease.

"Come on, Sasquatch," Dean jibed. "Let's get you cleaned up and will try to get something in your stomach."

"Oh no, Dean, I don't think I could eat anything."

"It'll be something light. But I don't want you going to sleep like this. You know how you'll feel in the morning if you do. Come on."

Sam allowed Dean to help him to stand. Sam went to the sink and washed out his mouth. Following Dean, Sam went to the kitchen and sat down, his homework forgotten. As promised, Dean gave him something light and then helped him to bed. Dean figured after that minor scare an early bedtime for both of them was in order.

The next morning, Dean was surprised that he wasn't awakened by Sam having nightmares. Dean woke up before Sam and went to check on his brother. Sam was still curled up in the same position he was when he fell asleep the night before. Dean couldn't help the smile on his face, looking at his brother. No nightmares. Maybe things were looking up.

"Come on, Sunshine," Dean called out. "Rise and shine. It's a new day."

"Ugh, D'n," Sam mumbled into the pillow. "Go away."

Yeah, things were looking up, Dean thought.

"No can do," Dean said, pulling on Sam's covers. "You got a big day today."

"What? Dean go away!" Sam said when Dean was successful in getting the covers off.

"Time to get up," Dean said, smiling.

"Don't want to."

"Too bad. You're going to class."

"Go away."

Dean chuckled, "Five minutes, and then I'm coming back with a cup of ice water."

"I hate you!"

"I know you do," Dean laughed, turning and walking out of the room.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" Sam heard it and thought not again. Sighing, Sam got up and went to see who was in their apartment. Sam's jaw dropped when he saw who was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Why are you here? How did you get in?"

"Come on, Dean, who do you think taught you how to pick a lock?"

"What do you want, dad?"

"I've come to talk," John said.

"I think you've said everything that you needed to," Dean fumed. "You can leave."

"Not until I've had my say," John said, leaning back in his chair. "Sit, both of you."

When neither one made a move toward the chairs, John repeated it with more force. "I said sit."

Never being one to disobey a direct order, Dean walked over to the table and sat down. Sam, always following his big brother's lead, sat down next to his brother.

"Dean, I need you to pack your things."

"What?"

"No. I'm not leaving him."

John held up his hand to stop his son's speaking.

"I'm not giving you a choice. There is a werewolf pack that needs to be taken down, and I need all available hands. Caleb, Bobby, and Jim are already there. Will is meeting us there in the morning. I've come to get you."

"What about Sam?" Dean growled

"What about Sam?"

"I'm not leaving him alone. Not again."

"Sam can take care of himself," John sighed.

"Well, then Sam can come with us," Dean demanded.

"No," John deadpanned.

"No? Why the hell not?"

"He has classes," John said matter of factly. "I'm not going to pull Sam out of school for this."

"So you still see him as a liability?" Dean accused.

"I never said that," John said, adamantly. Reaching across the table and grabbing his youngest son's hand, using the other hand to lift Sam's head so that he was looking at him. "I never once said that. Nor do I believe that."

"Why are you taking him away?" Sam spoke for the first time.

John closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, letting go of his son's face, sitting back in his chair. He opened his eyes and looked at his sons.

"I'm not taking Dean away. I just need the extra hands for this hunt."

"He can come back?" Sam asked.

It broke John's heart how small his youngest son was sounding.

"Yes," John nodded. "I will not separate you two. I promise."

Sam looked over at his brother. Dean was eyeing their father, wondering if he could actually trust him. Sam knew that deep down Dean didn't like being stuck in one place. Even if he didn't say anything about it.

"It's okay, Dean," Sam said. "Go."

"Sam, no."

"I'll be fine. And it's only for a couple of days. I'll call."

"Sam."

"Please, Dean. It's alright. I'll be fine. You're coming back afterward, right?"

"You couldn't stop me," Dean said.

"Then it's fine."

"I'll wait for you downstairs," John said, getting up from the table and leaving before either son could reply.

"You sure?" Dean asked, one more time.

"It's fine, Dean. I promise. Maybe I can get to watch what I want to while you're gone."

"Yeah, whatever," Dean said getting up. "I'll leave it stuck on the westerns channel and take the remote."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

_00000_0000_0000

Twenty minutes later, Dean walked towards the Impala and put his duffel in the trunk.

"Dean."

Dean turned and saw his dad standing behind him.

"Yeah, Dad," he said, closing the trunk.

"I never blamed you."

"What?"

"What happened to Sam was not your fault."

"I don't have time for this. Where are we going?" Dean dismissed.

"Don't do that," John ordered. "We're going to have this out."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything," John said, walking closer to his son. "I want you to listen. I have put a lot on you. I know I have. Things that a small child should not have to have on his shoulders. You were only four when you started taking care of Sam. I've sat back and watched you be a father to that boy when I knew it was my responsibility to be the father to both of you."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"I want you to know that I am proud of you. You've taken care of Sammy. He's grown up to be a wonderful young man, and that is thanks to you and no one else. What happened to Sam was a tragedy. What happened to Sam was not your fault. It probably would have happened if you were with him or not."

Dean's throat burned listening to his father. No, he won't believe it. It was his fault. Take care of Sammy was drilled into him. He didn't do it. How could his father be proud of him when he failed. He failed. Sam got hurt.

"Dean." John pulled his oldest out of his musing. "Sam getting raped was a horrible tragedy, but it wasn't your fault. I do not blame you for what happened to Sam, and I know Sam doesn't blame you for what happened."

The first tear escaped Dean's eyes. John came closer and embraced his son.

"It's time to let go of the guilt. Sam is fine. He will always have you to look out for him. Be there for him. Let that guilt go." Dean nodded against his father's shoulder. "Come on, we need to go." Dean nodded.

Dean stepped back a quickly wiped his face of the tears that were on his face. John gave him a moment to compose himself before letting him know the location of where they were meeting the others. Dean got in his Baby and drove off, leaving John standing at the door. John wanted to go, but he was waiting for his youngest. He didn't have to wait long as Sam emerged from the doors to his apartment building twenty minutes later.

"Dad, what are you still doing here? I thought you left with Dean."

"I'm leaving," John said. "But I wanted to see you before I left."

"Okay."

"There was something that I wanted you to understand."

"What's that, Dad?"

"I should have told you this sooner. I was wrong in letting you believe it. Never once did I think you were a liability."

"I know, dad."

"Do you really? Because I don't think you do. I don't think you believe it. My actions have made you believe things that are not true. There are a lot of things that I know I will have to work on with you, but one thing I want to get straight before I leave today is for you to believe me when I say you are not a liability. Do you understand why I didn't ask you to come with us?"

Sam nodded.

"Verbal answer, son," John smirked.

"Yes, sir."

"Why? Tell me."

"School?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" John asked.

"Telling, sir."

"Very good," John said, nodding. "I am so proud of you, Sam. I know I don't tell you or your brother that often, and for that I'm sorry, but I am very proud of you. You got a full ride into Stanford. You are making something of yourself. I am proud of you."

Sam's jaw worked up and down like a fish out of water, but no sounds were coming out. He was utterly stunned at what his father was saying.

"I am going to make you a promise, Sammy. I will never, ever make you choose. I was wrong in doing that. It will never happen again."

"Thanks, dad," Sam said, smiling. John realized this was the first time in a while he'd seen his son smile. "Look, dad, I hate to cut this short, but I have to go. And by the sounds of it so do you."

John's brow furrowed wondering what his son was talking about when he heard it. It amazed him to no end how his sons were so in tuned with each other. A very familiar V8 engine was coming down the street. The black Impala stopped in front of them. Dean slid over the front seat to lower the window.

"Hey, dad, what's keeping you?"

"I'm leaving now," John said, walking towards his truck.

"You're going to be late," Dean yelled, sliding over back behind the steering wheel. "Hop in."

John climbed into his truck and saw Sam getting into the Impala. The car drove off towards the group of buildings where he knew one of those buildings was Sam's class. This was the best John's felt in a long time. He had his sons, and they were together. They were growing up to become fine men. What more could he ask for.

John pulled out of the parking lot and followed his son's until Dean let Sam out. Sam headed to class, and the two Chevy's drove out of the school complex.

**THE END**

**A/N: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. Please leave a review letting me know what you think of it.**

**Many kisses and hugs to you all.**

**Mandancie**


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